NATIONAL LEAGUE EAST

BB: Bill Barnwell
ED: Ed Agner
PR: Phil Rippa


PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
Record at the All-Star Break (46-41)

First-Half Review
BB: Ah, the Phillies. Can you really blame them for not knowing any better? Sure, they've lucked out the most when it comes to the new Collective Bargaining Agreement and Revenue Sharing program. Sure, they just opened a brand new stadium. Sure, they have a farm system that has as many upper-echelon prospects as anyone in the game short the Angels and maybe the Mets. That doesn't mean they know what they're doing, though. At-bats go to guys who have no clue what to do with them. The guys who do sit on the bench, or get sent down to AAA after a slow start. Their minor-league pitchers don't throw their best pitches because they won't develop their secondary pitches any other way. Their players get hemorrhoids. Okay – maybe that is better than intestinal disorders. But it's still not good.

ED: And all that's BEFORE Bob Boone takes over!  Oh yeah, that's some salve for my wounds!

BB: First, the good. Jim Thome has been Jim Thome (.289/.406/.653, 78 strikeouts). Bobby Abreu has morphed into Super Bobby Abreu (.306/.440/.569). Pat Burrell remembered how to hit (.276/.391/.483).

ED:  I'd just like to state again how much I fantasy-hate Pat Burrell. Paul Konerko too.

BB:  And, finally, David Bell converted some of his scrap into home runs (.274/.361/.476).

PR: Bell is overdue a Kendall/Jenkins hideous injury so that gravy train will soon run out. I attribute him lasting this long on the new park because the Vet would have claimed his ACL already.

PR: On the good too is that somehow, Ricky Ledee hit .318/.408/.576 with 6 home runs and 24 RBIs in only 85 at-bats. That would probably earn most folks the starting job but this is the Phillies. Now all management needs to do is make sure Ledee has a little cushion in the dugout to rest his bum on.

BB: On the pitching side, Ryan Madson has probably been the best setup man in the National League in his rookie season. Randy Wolf is pitching very well, despite his 3-5 record, with a 3.56 ERA. Eric Milton is 11-2. The good.

PR: Of course, all the NL Rookie of the Year votes will go to Kaz Matsui and then thing will truly truly truly get ugly.

ED:  Well, also on the good tip is the fact that a few Phillies starters still have their arms somewhat intact.  Of course, it IS merely the first half of the season.  Yeah, playing for Dallas Green did Bowa some good.

BB: And then, the bad. In reverse order: Eric Milton has a 4.72 ERA and, according to Prospectus, has been the majors' luckiest starter.

ED: Feh!  Darren Oliver is the majors' luckiest starter.  Or Jose Contreras!  Or Pat Hentgen!  Or any O's starter!  Oh, you mean lucky in the way of winning games despite sucking instead of how those other guys are lucky merely to still collect major league paychecks despite sucking.  OK.  I gotcha.

PR: I have odd likes and dislikes and in a perfect world my ultimate starting five would be Tim Hudson, Johan Santana, Ted Lilly, Eric Milton and John Stephens. So I will just focus on Milton’s 11 wins and Lilly’s all-star selection. Lalalalalalala…. I am not listening.

BB: Besides Wolf, no one in the rotation has been effective. Kevin Millwood has a 5.15 ERA. Brett Myers is at 5.68. Vicente Padilla has a ERA just above four, but hasn't been able to pitch very often.

PR: Millwood getting flipped for Matt Morris would benefit the Phillies. It would not benefit Morris’ rotator cuff.

ED: You know Dallas Green could never recommend firing Bowa with a track record like that.

BB:  Rheal Cormier, believe it or not, isn't actually one of the best relievers in baseball, and has regressed from his performance last year.

ED: But-but...he's a LEFTY~!...AND French-Canadian.  He's almost Eric Gagne.  But not.

BB: Billy Wagner's been hurt off and on, killing countless fantasy teams (stupid 30% of my auction) in the process.

PR: If saves and steals could be combined into one position, it would be Tight End but now we are going down a road that is far far away from a baseball recap.

ED: Well, someone's gotta put some effort into not making Jerry Hunsicker look like a complete fool.  Lord knows Hunsicker isn't trying too hard in that regard.

BB: Jimmy Rollins is moving on to the advanced stages of majoring in Mike Caruso (.270/.332/.378). Placido Polanco's had an off year (.265/.329/.370).

PR: Rollins appear to be more possessed by the spirit of Jackie Tavener (.255/.318/.364). I am all about setting Ed up with Ohio references.

ED: Yet Polanco will still be a valuable commodity...to Tony LaMullet and the ESPN foofs.

BB: The Phillies sent Marlon Byrd down to AAA after he rocked Citizens Bank with a .297 OBP, opening up playing time for Jason Michaels (not the worst thing in the world) and Doug Glanville (maybe the worst thing in the world). No one's really having an average season on this team except for Mike Lieberthal – everyone else is either doing fantastic or doing poorly. And, finally, Larry Bowa is still the manager of the Philadelphia Phillies. There may be a correlation here. I'm not sure.

ED: You forgot to mention how the Phillies are competitive now because they have a NEW STADIUM~!!!  Man, we really need to get you to a barber for a Selig cut.

Second-Half Outlook
BB: There are a few ways the Phillies can go. They could right the ship – Millwood and Myers could come around, Polanco and Byrd could return to their normal level of production, and Wagner could stay healthy. Of course, on the other hand, the wheels could fall off – Wagner could remain hurt and miss most of the second half. Milton could go 3-8 in the second half and it wouldn't be extraordinary. They could keep throwing ABs at the top of the order away with Rollins. Thome could get hurt and if he does, this team doesn't have a guy to replace him in the heart of the order. The guy they had got traded away because he wasn't the best third baseman in the history of baseball. 

ED: What?  Dave Hollins could've replaced Tho...OOOOOhhhh.  Right.  That Rolen guy.  Whatever happened to him?

BB: The big road trip for the Phillies is at the end of July: at Florida, Chicago, San Diego, and Los Angeles. If they can stay in the race till then, they've got a huge three weeks in September, when they play series at home versus the Braves and Mets, then on the road against each. 

ED: The Phils will collapse out west, and the Braves will pop back into first.  The Phils will then scrap back into the races but, unless Bowa is fired or spontaneously combusts, will fall short.  Thems the breaks.  But hey, that NEW STADIUM prolly still smells NEW STADIUMY~!  Well, maybe not in Philly, I guess.

PR: You guys could have saved a lot of keystrokes. They play in Philadelphia. Therefore, there will be no title.

Self-Mockery
(A Look Back At Our Preview)

BB: I talked up Bud Smith and Bud Smith got non-tendered. Dave Duncan giggled. 

ED:  NO HITTERS~! are CRAP!  CRAP!

BB: The Phillies still haven't run away with the division despite having the best team, talent-wise, by far. Larry Bowa is still employed. Scarily, Bob Boone still lurks. Seriously. Fire Larry Bowa already. How hard can this be? Do I need to get Stephen A. Smith on this?

ED:  You think Stephen A. Smith even knows the Phils are in town?  And if he DID crusade for Bowa's head, you KNOW he'd beg for the Phils to hire Don Baylor.  Wouldn't that really just be a carbon copy of same thing?

PR: I think Stephen A. Smith would scream – and I do mean scream – that Philly needed to hire Billy Cunningham to take the realms. And then someone would have to pull him aside and have a little chat.

ATLANTA BRAVES
Record at the All-Star Break (45-42)

First-Half Review
BB: All the talk in the media has been about how the Braves dynasty is over, and how they're going to be trading away their big parts. The problem is that the Braves are all of a game back of the Phillies in the East, and the Braves don't have Larry Bowa managing them. 

ED:  And as much as I'm not on the “every member of Braves management/coaching staff for the HOF bandwagon”, like seemingly far too many are, Bobby Cox does good work in-season.  At least he's no Larry Bowa, anyway.

BB: The biggest problem for the Braves is that Marcus Giles (who John Schuerholz called "Our best player" only a year after he spent a season trying to deal Giles away and/or leave him with "personal problems" in AAA) has been out for most of the season. Other problems – Chipper Jones getting old and receiving advice from Dale Murphy. Mark DeRosa getting 249 ABs with a .610 OPS. DeWayne Wise. Andruw Jones getting outhit by Adrian Beltre. Julio Franco not having enough Jesus Juice to pass out to the rest of the team. Even Mike Hampton hasn't hit so far.

PR: Chipper quietly getting moved back to third is one of those stories that only I seem to care about. That year of Vinny Castilla really wasn’t worth the hassle. Especially with DeRosa hitting approximately his weight. At this point, maybe they should sweet talk Bob Horner or Ken Oberkfell out of retirement. Either of those two coming out of retirement could put up the numbers that Chipper and DeRosa are cobbling together.

ED: Chipper will get hot, Giles will get healthy, Wise and Franco will be left at some rest stop along the way and the Braves will make a run.  God hates us all.

PR: Adam LaRoche is making people think that maybe he should learn how to throw the Ephus pitch.

BB: JD Drew's been fantastic, though - .312/.434/.628. Just in time to sign with the Rangers next year and break apart again. 

ED: Or I could see him replacing Hidalgo in Shea next year.  Having Drew and Cliff Floyd as corner OFers would be...well, my fantasy team, really.  Or there's always the Padres.  Kevin Towers loves him some cripples too.

BB: Horacio Ramirez is 2-4 with a 2.28 ERA. He's got a 31/29 K/BB ratio. Which one of these things do you think is the accident? 

PR: Horacio Ramirez’s own conception? Oh sorry…

ED: Umm...umm...let's see, Leo Mazzone is a GENIUS! sooooo...Hmm.  I am stumped.

BB: The Braves pen has been, as you might expect, effective. John Smoltz has an absolutely filthy 44/3 K/BB ratio in 41 IP. He also still looks like James Mercer. Juan Cruz's at 40/17.

ED:  And Chris Reitsma's done a mostly-respectable job eating the middle innings.  Boy, wouldn't the Cubs have loved Juan Cruz back.

BB:  Antonio Alfonseca, who has six fingers and maybe one day we'll have a picture of his hand (sorry – that is just to pump up our Google searches) is at 26/16…eh, maybe not so effective.

ED: Not as effective as KRIS AND ANNA BENSON or NATALIE PORTMAN'S ANKLE, but at least he's not suffered any HIDEOUS SPORTS INJURIES for us to have PICTURES of along with his freakish hand.  HITS~!

PR: Based on this recap, I think the person searching for “Larry Bowa’s beard” is going to be very very confused.

BB: John Thomson, who everyone was lining up to kiss when united with Leo Mazzone, has a good K/BB ratio (72/27), but a 4.82 ERA. He just likes to give up home runs. It's unfortunate. I think we can also declare Mike Hampton to be just about useless at this point. Before he signed with Colorado, he had kept his G/F ratio above 2 for his entire career. Since he got there, and after he got traded, he hasn't been able to get it back up there. When you don't strike anyone out…

ED: Leo Mazzone, in his GENIUS!, is making Hampton lie low until the playoffs.  Either that or Hampton's seen enough of Rafeal Furcal's fielding to turn himself into a fly ball pitcher all of a sudden.

PR: The thing with Hampton is that the Braves aren’t even paying much of his absurd contract. I just wonder if it is a matter that the Braves front office doesn’t want to admit that Hampton is a failure or they are afraid that he is going to be grabbed by like the Phillies and he will actually perform well. Not that that is a possibility – I am just wondering.

BB: Johnny Estrada: 26.7 VORP in the first half. Kevin Millwood: 2.6. Who would've thought?

ED: C'mon, that's no way to feed us jokes about John Schuerholtz's idiocy.

BB: Andy Marte is hitting .264/.338/.527 in AA. Wilson Betemit is at .281/.340/.480 in AAA, which I guess is a start. The next big Braves pitcher? Dan Meyer. 86/12 K/BB ratio in 13 starts (65 IP) at AA. 

Second-Half Outlook
BB: The Phillies have to play 42 games on the road in the second half. The Braves have to play 35. That's a pretty decent sized advantage right there. The Marlins have to play 39 – the Mets only have to play 34, but they're the Mets.

PR: Of the Braves road trips, they get to go to Pittsburgh, Montreal and Arizona. Plus, they have a home stand against Colorado. The also have plenty games against the Mets left. All that should help the offense right itself.

BB: I read a quote where John Schuerholz talked about how he was going to be more flexible and tricky with his pickups in July to help the Braves win. It begs the question – why wouldn't you just have been more tricky five years ago? Is Otis Nixon really that important?

ED: Not as important as those Terry Pendleton and Luis Polonia pick ups anyway. 

BB: Basically, the Braves are going to have to rely on Russ Ortiz and Jaret Wright to carry their rotation to the playoffs. Even if they do, and they get there…is that something you really want to pin your hopes on? Do you want to stand behind Jaret Wright? Well – maybe you do. If someone's throwing something at you, chances are it will hit him instead. 

PR: I would rather rely on Jaret Wright than Jamey Wright. Poor little Royals.

ED: The Braves will win the East.  Lord knows I don't want 'em to, but everyone had their chance to kill them off and failed.  We have no one to blame but the Phils and Marlins.  Stupid crappy East.  Of course, the Braves will be lucky to win a game in their division series, but that's better than any Larry Bowa-lead team will ever do.

PR: Well, by the time the playoffs roll around, the folks in Atlanta will have their hands firmly wrapped around Michael Vick’s ankles so they won’t even notice when the Braves go away again.

BB: Oh – and if the Phillies fire Larry Bowa, the Braves are screwed.

ED: Well, yeah… unless, of course, he's replaced with Bob Boone.
 
Self-Mockery
(A Look Back At Our Preview)

BB: I said the Braves would win (JDGP * .65) games, with JDGP being the number of games J.D. Drew plays in. J.D. Drew has played in 78 games, which would be 50 wins – the Braves have only won 45. Why is the formula off? Because Drew's pinch hit in games. He's got 282 ABs – which, if you divide it by four (an average amount of ABs per game), is 70.5 REAL games played. Plug that into the formula and the Braves win…45 games. I'm a mathematical genius. The new formula is ((JDAB/4) * .65). 

ED: Math is hard!  Let's go shopping!

BB: Then again, I said Johnny Estrada would hit .290/.330/.440. He's hit .332/.382/.481 so far. If he regresses and loses forty points off of each of those, he'd be hitting….292/.332/.442. Right. 

FLORIDA MARLINS
Record at the All-Star Break (45-43)

First-Half Review
BB: We're going to split the Marlins hitters into two groups, kinda like the Phillies. First, we have those who've decided to hit this summer. Certificates go to Miguel Cabrera (.295/.369/.539), Mike Lowell (.305/.384/.571), and Hee Seop Choi (.275/.393/.513). Damion Easley (.262/.352/.514) gets a pat on the back and maybe a steroid test.

ED:  Dusty still questions whether Choi can stand the heat.

BB: And now, those of you who didn't make the grade so far this year…we don't mean to be mean, but we're going to make fun of you in front of the entire class. Luis Castillo (.282/.348/.356), your mother would be disappointed. Alex Gonzalez (.250/.275/.450), your line reads like something Chuck Carr would laugh at. After the horrible knee injury. Jeff Conine (.256/.322/.387), report back to Baltimore immediately. Ramon Castro (.135/.231/.260!!)…you're innocent until proven guilty, maybe. 

PR: Alex S. Gonzalez is disappointed in Alex Gonzalez too.

ED: Juan Pierre, Bill?  Where is the fastest man alive?  Is he too fast to be pinned down on one list? 

PR: Juan Pierre is so out. It’s all about NATURAL ATHLETE Carl Crawford now. Get with it old man.

BB: God – I didn't notice until now that the Marlins had Wil Cordero and Lenny Harris on their bench. Sweet sassy molassy. 

PR: Yet again proving that Bill didn’t read anything I wrote in the preview. *sigh*

ED: Well, not at the same time.  Lawrence Phillips...Oops!  Wil Cordero has missed most of the season with a bum knee.  Our wish that his wife Golluylied him is probably merely a dream.

BB: Armando Benitez has been absolutely lights-out in the first half – 40 games, 46 innings, 30 saves, 41 strikeouts, a 0.98 ERA. About the only thing he hasn't done is record any productive outs. Stupid ESPN.

ED: But he's still Armando Benitez.  You KNOW how that will turn out.

PR: I am begging for a Yankees/Marlins rematch. BEGGING!

BB: Everyone else in the Marlins bullpen has been nice enough to let Armando do things by himself, though. Matt Perisho might be the second-best pitcher in the Marlins bullpen, and that should explain to you the situation pretty clearly.

ED: I have a strange Perisho fetish.  Or is that Venafro?  Or are they the same guy? 

PR: The acquisition of Billy Koch has been pretty negligible. Boy, Benitez and Koch in the post-season is the ultimate taunting of the Baseball Gods.

BB: The one thing that's kept the Marlins afloat has been their starting pitching. Their big four (bizarrely in this order) – Carl Pavano, Brad Penny, Dontrelle Willis, and Josh Beckett – have all been effective in weird ways this season. Pavano's season has been shockingly good for someone who has no buzz around him – 9-4 with a 2.85 ERA, and, most surprisingly of all, 123 IP.

ED: Yeah, but he lost Alyssa Milano so...I don't know what that means.

PR: He’s not good in bed?

BB: Penny's 8-7 but with a 3.20 ERA and better peripherals than Pavano. Prospectus has Willis as the second flakiest starter in all of baseball over the first half, but his overall numbers are about what you might expect- 7-5 with a 3.99 ERA and decent, if not great peripherals. Beckett has been great – an 84/22 K/BB ratio in 76 IP, but he can't keep his fingers blister-free. 

ED: Penny is probably the only one I'd put money on right now.  Pavano's made a nice recovery from Torborgery but the high innings pitched and the modest K rate doesn't instill much faith.  Willis will have control issues for as long as he has that leg kick - and then there's the matter of the IP at his age, to boot.  Beckett will get healthy in September and carry the Marlins to the Wild Card.  God hates the Mets and Phillies most.

Second-Half Outlook
BB: The Marlins finish their season on a nine-game road trip: at Atlanta, Montreal, and Philadelphia to finish. Generally, they're going to want to be a few games up by then if they want to win whatever race they're competing in.

ED: Meh.  The Fish practically own the Braves and Phils and...Les Expos?  Hah! 

BB: A lot of the Marlins potential for success depends on injury. If they can get Beckett healthy, and AJ Burnett can keep up the work he's done so far, the Marlins might not even need a bullpen beyond Benitez. They really, really, really, really need another arm in the pen, maybe more so than any other team in baseball. If I were Jack McKeon – and if I were, every new day would be a blessing – I'd consider putting Burnett in the bullpen to pitch two or three innings at a time, to build his arm strength up. But I'm young and naïve.

ED:  No, it's a good idea.  But, in case you haven't heard, Jack McKeon is OLD SKOOL~!  A pitcher ain't hurt if his arm is still attached.

PR: Priority number one should be unloading Jeff Conine back to the Orioles. Priority number two should be keeping the Feds off of Cordero and Castro’s back.

BB: Oh – and if the Phillies fire Larry Bowa, the Marlins are screwed.

ED:  Well, yeah, unless of course, he's replaced with Bob Boone.

Self-Mockery
(A Look Back At Our Preview)

BB: I said Carl Pavano had a good chance of being this year's Jeff Suppan. He's been this year's Sidney Ponson instead.

PR: Either way, that doesn’t bode well for young Pavano’s career.

BB: Ed said that Juan Pierre wouldn't have a .700 OPS. He's hitting .740 this year…but he's been nice enough to get thrown out on 40% of his steal attempts. Sure, it's a bad thing but…if you're going to have Juan Pierre, you're almost forced to send him 80 times a year. Even if he gets thrown out 40 times…what's the point of having him if he's going to steal eight bases? The point, I suppose…don't have Juan Pierre on your team.

ED:  THE GLOVE!  THE THREAT OF STEALING!  Didn't you pay attention to Tim McCaver in last years' World Ser...Oh.  Right.  You were still trying to kill Aaron Boone.  Never mind.

NEW YORK METS
Record at the All-Star Break (44-43)

First-Half Review
BB: This was the worst thing that could've happened to the Mets. They spent JUST enough in the offseason to push their team out of last place and towards mediocrity – and now, now that they have a .500 record and are two games back in a division full of flawed teams – they're doomed to spend money on parts that they really shouldn't be. This team needs to rebuild. Everyone's said it for years. The Mets have just kind of smiled condescendingly and thrown $30 million at another free agent. 

ED: Exactly like the Reds - except for the whole spend money part of the equation.

BB: What a weird year the Mets rotation has had. Scott Erickson hasn't pitched a single game. I guess that's for the good of everyone.

ED:  Yeah, that may be the only highlight in the Erickson-Guerrero household.

BB: Al Leiter's arm is falling off, and he has a 51/46 K/BB ratio…and a 2.40 ERA. How do you do that? You have a .198 BABIP (Batting Average on Balls-In-Play). Sure – adding Mike Cameron is good, and the Mets have a pretty solid defense. But no one sustains a .198 BABIP. If anyone deserves it, it's Leiter – his arm previously left to rot in 170 pitch outings by Lou Piniella – but that's going to come around.

PR: I really like Al Leiter too so I wish he could have found his way off the Mets. Them staying in contention will ruin that hope. Sadly, I keep envision him having a Dave Dravecky moment – I mean in the sickening arm injury department, not in the being dead department.

BB: Tom Glavine's arm was supposed to have fallen off two years ago, and he's got a 2.66 ERA with slightly more appealing peripherals – a 66/33 K/BB ratio. His way of avoiding an ERA more in line with his peripherals? 8 homers in 128 innings. He's a better bet to stay effective than Leiter is – but then again, everyone else on the planet is.

PR: The hip story line for all the media is how all the creaky potential Hall of Famers are having good years – Roger Clemens, Randy Johnson and Tom Glavine. And of course, all they quote is the ERA. Still, the 128 innings raises my eyebrows, especially after seeing that he has surpassed 100 pitches 11 times in 19 starts (including 5 times over 110). Glavine has never really struck me as having the rubber arm that the Rocket and the Big Unit have so while its true that it is a better bet to stay effective longer than Leiter – that is like saying the Expos have a better chance at getting into playoff contention than the Orioles.

BB: Steve Trachsel's got a 3.36 ERA but otherwise is having a Steve Trachsel year. Jae Weong Seo's K/BB ratio, in 79 innings, has been 37/30. That's not going to work, and it hasn't – a 4.76 ERA. The Mets have also let Matt Ginter start 11 times, along with Dan Wheeler, Tyler Yates, and James Baldwin, all of whom have business being on a AAA roster if the team is hurting for pitchers.

ED:  And the Kris Benson rumors continue to swirl.  Benson would be SUCH the perfect Met.  Although, I REALLY-REALLY-REALLY will try to avoid reading about what Anna Benson would have to report on Mike Piazza's sex life.

BB: Kaz Matsui has pretty much been mediocre, hitting .269/.336/.411 and leading the league in errors at shortstop. Jose Reyes missed two months and has come back to hit .216/.242/.330. Mike Cameron's at .229/.330/.447 with great defense – pretty much exactly what the Mets could've hoped for. 

PR: WHO ARE YOU TO DOUBT THE FUTURE OF THE METS?!?!?!?! MATSUI AND REYES WILL RULE SUPREME!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE A LITTLE PASTY WHITE NOTHING!!!!!!!!!! Or something.

BB: All the spare parts that the Mets offense have been hoping to fill in the non-Piazza and Floyd gaps have been pretty useless. Ty Wiggington is the only exception, by virtue of slugging .500. Jason Phillips has a .630 OPS. Todd Zeile's at .698. Shane Spencer is at .762. Karim Garcia's at .677. Joe McEwing…let's not talk about Joe McEwing. The only decent part of the Mets bench has been Eric Valent, hitting .279/.349/.471 in 80 or so ABs. So many crappy white guys. It's like someone wanted to imitate the Red Sox bench from a few years ago, but wanted nothing to do with Manny Alexander.

ED:  Well, Spencer and Garcia can be useful in strict platoon roles.  But they shouldn't be playing in that OF this year, unless something went horribly wrong - and with Cameron, Floyd and Hidalgo, odds on the horrific are pretty good.  I could still see Spencer and Garcia holding down LF for the Cards or even Marlins, but I don't expect creativity from GM's anymore.  For some reason, I'll be really happy when Todd Zeile retires.

PR: That would be one less guy older than you gone from the league Ed? Be careful what you wish for.

PR: Lest we also forget the Piazza learns first on the fly saga that is going on this year. Gotta love the Mets. “Screw Spring Training! He can learn doing games against the Phillies and Braves. First can’t be that tough. Mo Vaughn used to play it. Oh wait…”

BB: Now – even though I am bashing for the Mets for not recognizing where they are in the success cycle – I love that they acquired Richard Hidalgo for David Weathers. At least Hidalgo has some upside – David Weathers is ALWAYS going to be David Weathers, even in the best-case scenario.

ED:  Oh yeah.  Now the question is - can the Mets do the right thing and lock Hidalgo up in Shea for 2-3 more years.  Nothing more, nothing less.  But unless Hidalgo can throw middle relief, he's only gonna help the Mets so much.

Second-Half Outlook
BB: The Mets start off the second half with an eleven-game homestand versus all four of the other teams in the division. Unless they go 8-3 or better, they won't be a contender.

PR: Unless they move to the AL Central they won’t be a contender.

ED:  And they won't, because they're not.  That pen will really be exposed in the second half, making the Mets sign every fungible reliever to overpriced contracts in the offseason.  But hey, the Mets are still having a better season than was expected.  And they swept the Yankees at Shea.  That's as good as it can get for the Mets, really.

BB: Kaz Matsui HAS to be better than this. Al Leiter has serious Dravecky/Saunders potential – I am buying mlb.tv for all his starts in the second half.

PR: Oof… I am stepping all over people’s jokes in this one. Eh, I ain’t going back to change mine because it is true.  Maybe the Mets should just put Dr. James Andrews on retainer.

ED:  Why does everyone forget about Tom Browning?  Jeez. 

Self-Mockery
(A Look Back At Our Preview)

BB: We didn't write very much about the Mets. Rippa is right in that Al Leiter, Tom Glavine, and Steve Trachsel are a very white starting three. That hasn't changed one bit. No sir.

MONTREAL EXPOS
Record at the All-Star Break (31-56)

First-Half Review
BB: The class-action lawsuit for fantasy players suing Prospectus is in the works. Best offense in the NL after the Rockies? The Expos scored 290 runs in the first half. Two-hundred-ninety. Now – I'm not going to say I know the exact reason why. But I'm going to read off some numbers, and then I'll tell you what they are. .293. .259. .357. .354. .311. .310. .325. .296. Those are the on-base-percentages for the eight guys with the most ABs for the Expos this season. The Expos TEAM OBP is .298. Someone needs to pray for Nick Johnson.

ED:  Phil prays that the Expos move to D.C. so he can see more of Nick.  Is that close enough?

PR: The scenario will play out like this. The Rippas move to Loudoun County for work and family related reasons. MLB awards Northern Virigina the Expos. I become insanely giddy at having baseball within 10 minutes of my house. On July 31, Montreal trades Nick Johnson to Anaheim. No TV and Beer make Homer go something.

BB: Must…find…nice things…Jose Vidro's hitting pretty solidly - .291/.357/.448 isn't slouching at all – oh. OMAR!!! signed him to a 4 year deal that will pay him big bucks when he's…34. That won't do. Brad Wilkerson's got 55 walks in 348 plate appearances…but he's hitting .232. Um…Carl Everett hasn't been kicked out of Canada yet. I think. The news is kinda slow coming from there.

ED:  Umm...the San Juan portion of their season is over.  So...umm...well, there will be a lot of Montrealeans (?) to ignore the last days of their baseball team.   Hey, it's not like they'll be booed.

BB: Now – the Expos rotation was holding up their part of the bargain for a while. Livan Hernandez is a legitimate ace at this point. Tomo Ohka was keeping his head above water…until he broke his arm. Zach Day's been adequate…but his peripherals are terrible. Tony Armas…has stayed out of the way when he's hurt. Claudio Vargas has just been stinky. 

PR: Zach Day has been very effective… at etching his name permantely on the Disabled List. Are we sure Felipe Alou still isn’t the Expos manager?

ED:  Is Armasacito officially NOT a prospect anymore?  Man, that Pedro deal is never going to look good, is it?  Whatever happened to that GM?  Oh, right.  Poor li'l O's fans.

BB: At least they drafted Chad Cordero – now they have that closer problem settled for six years. Only 24 more guys to go. Oh well.

Second-Half Outlook
BB: Livan Hernandez will probably get dealt somewhere – back to San Francisco, maybe? Orlando Cabrera's asked for a trade, but a .612 OPS, a creaky back, and a big salary is going to make it hard.

PR: The Cubs are reportedly all set to pull the trigger on a trade for Cabrera. That will please me since I hate Cubbies fans.

ED: Well, umm...really, the best case scenario for the Expos is that Selig FINALLY moves them out of Montreal and gives them a permament locale.  Then a sale to a real owner.  And a new manager and GM.  And THEN - and only then - can you look on the bright side for the Expos.  Of course by then Nick Johnson will be a big star - or overpriced cripple - elsewhere.  But hey, it could be worse - they could be the Orioles.

BB:  There is literally nothing else of value here. No – I'm not forgetting Nick Johnson. I'm just figuring he's going to be hard to trade after he puts a bullet through his head.

ED:  And FINALLY I get the tie-in to how I think Nick looks like the guy who blows his brains out in the first half of Full Metal Jacket.  Ahh, if only that joke was worth it.

Self-Mockery
(A Look Back At Our Preview)

BB: I wanted to see Joe Vitiello get 300 ABs. Ed wanted to see Randy Choate get regular work out of the pen. Choate did…in Arizona. Joe Vitiello has…in Toledo. Ed forecast Carl Everett beating the life out of Nick Johnson. It turned out the Expos organization did it for him.

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