Name	Position	Old Team	New Team	Rating	Reasoning
Carlos Beltran	CF	Houston	Yankees	88	Because he's a Scott Boras client. Because the Yankees need a centerfielder. Because they didn't win the World Series. Because he's the best free agent on the market. Because it's the freaking Yankees. Must...calm...down. Remember. Red Sox won a World Series. Red Sox won. Beat the Yankees. Won World Series. Patience.
Adrian Beltre	3B	Los Angeles	Anaheim	84	Anaheim loves signing guys who just had career years. Almost as much as the Twins. Really the Angels are like the Twins' Latino cousin who the Twins always cite as a sign of the diversity of their family but never like to go see or hang out with because they feel awkward and scared. When the Angels miss out on Beltran, Beltre is a perfect fit for them -- sure, they have Dallas McPherson, but it's not like having a good player to fill in the position in the system already ever stopped them from signing an expensive free agent.
Roger Clemens	SP	Houston	Houston	66	Really Clemens is far too much of a douchebag to play for such a random team like the Astros. He really needs to be a Red Sock or a Yankee. It just doesn't work otherwise.
Edgar Renteria	SS	St. Louis	St. Louis	38	If Brian Sabean wasn't a goon I would've expected him to splash out for Renteria but apparently he's not a long-term solution. I'd love to see Renteria become a Red Sock, personally, but St. Louis always seems to find the cash to sign their core guys.
Pedro Martinez	SP	Boston	Boston	75	Ah, Pedro. Somehow there's the media talking about Pedro's fantastic game 3 start when Pedro was typical 2004 scuffling Pedro for three innings, and then suddenly put it together. For four more innings. Come on. I don't care what kind of cachet he has, he's just simply not an ace starter anymore. That being said, I am deathly, deathly afraid that he will go all Clemens-in-Toronto the second he leaves Boston. He'd be a 95 on the Yankees.
Carlos Delgado	1B	Toronto	Baltimore	81	I'm guessing JP would probably offer Delgado an NRI. Maybe the veteran's minimum. Now that one of the last few albatrosses (albatrossii? albatroii? albii?) are off the owner's books, Delgado is free to spend the last few years of his career Vaughning around. Baltimore is the perfect fit for him to get 110 RBIs hitting behind Tejada for the next three years.
Magglio Ordonez	OF	White Sox	Los Angeles	72	DePo needs a bat. I mean - he needs a lot of bats. Especially if Beltre leaves. The good thing is that it's not as if he needs them in a particular spot - he needs someone who can hit everywhere in the lineup. Ordonez is one of the most underrated, consistent players in baseball - while he's going to go on a downswing now, he should be able to get 3 years for about $30 million out of the Dodgers and I'm not sure that it would be overpaying that much.
Jason Varitek	C	Boston	Cubs	82	And now we hit our flashpoint. Red Sox win World Series. Media searches for grittiest, scrappiest, Fu Manchuiest player on team. Enter catcher Jason Varitek. Media rewrites season to build around Varitek punching Alex Rodriguez with his catcher's glove. Breaks for lunch. Comes back and cries - oh, how can you evil statistician without a heart Theo Epstein - how can you not give HEART AND SOUL OF THE RED SOX Jason Varitek what he wants? He wants 5 years and he wants big money. He wants a no-trade clause (which triggers Manny's no trade clause - ewwww). This just isn't going to work out. So then - who will give him a five year deal? Really the only fits are the Cubs and Marlins - maybe the Cardinals if they can't sign Matheny. Ah, the National League. Have fun in three years.
Carl Pavano	SP	Florida	Baltimore	86	Carl Pavano's K/9 rate over the last few years: 7.59, 6.09, 5.96, 5.63. The trend with the most correlation to future success for pitcher is strikeout rate. You won't be throwing your money away. You will, however, be paying for more than what you will receive. Hi, Baltimore.
Richie Sexson	1B	Arizona	Mets	69	Boy, did Arizona's moves not work out all that well this season. Plexiglass will still give them 74 wins next year, but still - fugly. I'm personally not buying all the noise about him going to Seattle - why would he want to? Is there really going to be a much better situation in Seattle than there will be in Arizona? Really, Seattle is just Arizona without Randy Johnson. And no one would want to go there. With the Mets moving Piazza back to catcher, Sexson fills the 1B gap, probably for too much and probably to be hurt.
JD Drew	OF	Atlanta	Atlanta	90	The only reason I figure he stays is because Andruw Jones gets traded - let's say San Diego - and that frees up some cash, and JD is a Georgia boy. He'd be a great fit for the Padres, who have cash but probably will spend it on pitching.
Nomar Garciaparra	SS	Cubs	White Sox	77	The most pissed-off man in America. Totally forgotten about in a town that he owned for years. His wife is retired and sticks around the house all day, nagging him. His TIVO forgot to record the OC last week. Sure, the Cubs could use him -- but so could the White Sox, who have more money to spend and already tried to trade for him last year. Have fun spending the rest of your career in oblivion. Like the line from that Bill Simmons chat - maybe you should've stood on the top step.
Troy Glaus	3B	Anaheim	Los Angeles	84	No - I don't mean he's going to resign with the Angels and the team name is going to change. Glaus is a perfect replacement for Beltre - for just as much or a little bit less money, he's a lot more likely to play better over the course of his deal. Get him away from Mickey Hatcher, return about 40 or 50 walks, some slugging, and...MVP candidate.
Armando Benitez	RP	Florida	Cubs	72	I don't see him taking the bait in Florida, but I'm not Armando Benitez. I would say the Yankees, but...well, that ship's already out. Baltimore, but... Mets, but... The Cubs are the only team that really fit him. Maybe the Giants.
Steve Finley	CF	San Diego	Houston	96	Whoa - look at that score! Off the charts for this one! The Astros will lose Beltran. Sure, they have Jason Lane ready...but he's not scrappy enough! He's not old enough! Finley will do his victory tour at .240/.330/.440 and play average CF for about four million dollars too much a year.
Troy Percival	RP	Anaheim	Florida	80	Hmm - Anaheim's all set, Los Angeles is all set, maybe the Giants? Florida would work in the reclamation project sense, as would the Braves if John Smoltz returns to a role of value. The consistent mediocrity points to Florida, though, celebrators of consistent mediocrity.
Matt Clement	SP	Cubs	Yankees	84	Yeah, this is going to happen. Clement probably is the pitcher on the market I'd want most - look at those strikeout rates - but the Yankees need pitchers and Clement's the one they'll get. It'll work out especially well with that "defense" out there.
Orlando Cabrera	SS	Boston	Boston	88	Sure, he can't hit. But oh boy - did he make me feel better any time a ball got hit to shortshop. If the Red Sox keep Mark Bellhorn at second, and I'd love them to, Cabrera's a necessity at short. Especially since it keeps Pokey off the public's mind.
Jeff Kent	2B	Houston	Philadelphia	88	Chase Utley? Come on. Let's be serious. So what if he's one of the most valuable hitters in the International League? Let's trade him for another setup guy. On a side note I want to see Jeff Kent and Jimmy Rollins as a double play combination. Oh, the laughter. Oh, the violence.
Moises Alou	OF	Cubs	Cubs	91	Please just retire on a good note.
Odalis Perez	SP	Los Angeles	Yankees	93	Another strikeout pitcher. A LEFT HANDED STRIKEOUT PITCHER!!! The Yankees are licking their lips. An absolute must-have for Steinbrenner to be happy. I'm not sure what it means about the seventh and eighth inning, but whatever works for you.
Jaret Wright	SP	Atlanta	Atlanta	89	Oh yeah. If Jaret knows what's best for him, he's staying a Brave. He'd actually score a 94 if he signed with the Rangers but he's not going anywhere.
Jermaine Dye	OF	Oakland	Mets	82	Recommendation: Don't break your fibula. Ever. He's almost too much of a bargain for the Mets but he'll go there anyway. He'd be good for the Dodgers, too.
Brad Radke	SP	Minnesota	Baltimore	93	Yeah, I don't think he'll be giving the Brewers a hometown discount. It is the vaunted POOR MAN'S MUSSINA!
Omar Vizquel	SS	Cleveland	San Francisco	93	Let's just say the team selector is 1 for 1.