KEN O’BRIEN
(by PHIL RIPPA)
(Requested by
Bill… or Justin…. Crap.. let me look and see… okay this one was Justin)
I
was going to say that, for the majority of us, we grew up raised on
goofy made for TV pseudo athletic competitions like Battle of the
Network Stars (with Simmons already having shot that corpse more than a
dozen times, I ain’t gimmick infringing here) and Superstars (which was
always great for things like “HEY! Take the fat defensive lineman and
make him ride a bicycle. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Mark Gastineau doesn’t know what
he is doing). The reason I say I was going to say it is because I
realized that of the dozens and dozens of people who read this site –
they are as old as Bill who only remembers that Jason Sehorn could run
around shirtless on a beach for two straight years to win the title but
couldn’t – you know – cover anyone who ran a sub 4.6 40. Or find a hole
on a kick return without snapping an Achilles. Then there are the two
other readers who remember when TV was only in black and white and
didn’t watch these shows because they were too loud and flashy and
Deacon Jones wouldn’t have appeared on them.
The reason
this is all maybe kinda
sorta relevant is that one of these dopey shows was the NFL Quarterback
Challenge. And – sadly for me and, probably, for Ken O’Brien – the
first thing I think about when I think of the former Jets QB is the NFL
Quarterback Challenge. Now before we get into this, it probably would
be helpful to review Ken O’Brien, the actual player before I delve into
Ken O’Brien Made-For-TV Event stud (and before Wikipedia crushed all my
childhood memories.)
The QB class
of 1983 is pretty
much the “class” from NFL Draft history (sorry you stinky stinky Class of 1999
QBs - well except Donovan McNabb.). Again, I have realized that
since next year’s draft marks the 25th – that’s right TWO!!!! FIVE!!! –
anniversary of this draft, the majority of idiots who cover and write
about football are again all Bill’s age and were born after this draft
and they suck and don’t know what the heck I am talking about. Somebody
kill me please. Somebody kill me please. Pretty pretty please. I am on
my knees. Kill me. I want to die. Put a bullet in my
hhhhhheeeeeeaaaaadddddddd.
Player
(University)
|
Team
|
Pick
#
|
John
Elway (Stanford)
|
Baltimore
Colts
|
1
|
Todd
Blackledge (Penn State)
|
Kansas
City Chiefs
|
7
|
Jim
Kelly (Miami)
|
Buffalo
Bills
|
14
|
Tony
Eason (Illinois)
|
New
England Patriots
|
15
|
Ken
O'Brien (Cal-Davis)
|
New
York Jets
|
24
|
Dan
Marino (Pittsburgh)
|
Miami
Dolphins
|
27
|
Looking at
the list, you can argue
about who should have gone where and how Ernie Acorsi developed one of
those early 80s man crushes on John Elway that no one was comfortable
talking about until 20 years later. Poor poor trying to get the Colts
off your junk by any means necessary – including saying you were going
to play for the Yankees. You can see how that worked out for Drew
Hensen.
Yes, one
could just look and say
“WOW- look at all the teams that passed on Dan Marino” but two of
the
QBs were John Elway and Jim Kelly. In addition, Marino had a stinky
senior year, questionable health and SHOCKER! questionable
intelligence. That being said – the Jets, being the outside the box
thinkers that they were, took the kid from a Division II school with
the big numbers instead of the guy who ended up being the all-time NFL
passer… who needed peanut butter smeared on his lips to speak on
camera. (Rumor/legend has it that Don Shula asked his scouting
department “Who’s that?” after O’Brien was picked.) Did this all really
matter? Well…. O’Brien does have the same number of Super Bowl rings as
Marino. Maybe the Isotoner stock tips it in Dan’s favor.
As any Jets
fan of the mid-80s can
tell you, O’Brien and Pat Ryan (I refuse to do his FPOTM – just
declaring that right now) might as well have been conjoined twins from
1984 through 1989 as Joe Walton could never really make up his mind as
to who his number one guy was… or one would be crippled or something.
For the most part – O’Brien would be the main man. But the Jets
were
oh so cute.
O’Brien made
the Pro Bowl in his
sophomore year as he had nearly 3900 yards and the Jets were 11-5 but
of course crapped the bed in the first round of the playoffs (to the
Eason lead Patriots. Aww… the Jets would have let Walter Payton score a
Super Bowl TD). 1986 was more of the same for Ken – high 3000s in
yardage (no Pro Bowl since Boomer Esiason stole his spot. And Elway and
Marino also went. God I am going to have to work Todd Blackledge into
this somehow) and the Jets only choked in double overtime to the Browns
in the 2nd round of the playoffs. Mind you – O’Brien was benched for
the playoffs because… well… I am just going to have to tease that.
(I will
fully address the… well
interesting (must not use the word fiasco)… 1986 season in the eventual
Al Toon FPOTM. Stupid Will McDonough being right. Oof… I might have to
dedicate an entire FTOTM to the 86 Jets.)
Hey –
drafting this O’Brien kid
wasn’t such a bad idea. It was just too bad they weren’t drafting
anyone else in the later years. (ie: Russell Carter and Lester Lyles
and pretty much any other time they tried to get a DB). For the record
– I still think the Jets should have taken Darrell Green but that is
mainly because I am a giant Darrell Green fanboy. Plus – the Jets could
have taken Gary Kubiak later and done the weird pairing with Pat Rayn.
Or they could have drafted Babe Laufenberg… aww… 
New York
became mediocre (as they
hovered right around .500 for two years) – including preventing the
Giants from making the playoffs in 88 – must… not… grr…. - and then bad
(They fell to 4-12 in 89 complete with using FIVE! QBs. They used Mark
Malone!!! and the aforementioned Tony Eason – about to crap out of the
league. But at least he outlasted… just barely… Todd Blackledge. HEY!
There we go. Poor poor Ken was very decentish but you get stat padding
when you are trailing in every game.)
Joe Walton
was out. Bruce Coslet
was in. Me, Ken O’Brien and pretty much anyone with a passing interest
in the Jets were sad. Three years with a combined record of 18-30 and
that was that was the end of the Ken O’Brien era in New York (He did
get a Pro Bowl pick in 1991 but, yeah, it is the NFL Pro Bowl. I may or
may not have gotten an alternate selection.) And when you are benched
in favor of Browning Nagle – it’s pretty much the end of your era
period. One year as a backup for the Eagles after Randall Cunningham
snapped his leg and that was it for Ken O’Brien.
With his
career, that I would have
killed for, over – O’Brien carved out a nice little living as a coach,
including coaching Carson Palmer at USC. At some point he also had a
video called Ken O’Brien’s Quarterback Clinic. This might become my
white whale on YouTube.
Oh and as a
random aside – Michael
Strahan’s first sack came against Ken O’Brien. Should sacks really
count when going against the OL of the early-to-mid 90s Jets? Poor poor
New York red-headed step child.
Now – you
understand the man a
little better. Let me explain the whole NFL QB Challenge and how
Wikipedia has ruined my childhood and the internet and life in general.
The NFL QB
Challenge was the brain
child of… well I am sure it was one of the suits over at NBC and the
NFL (remember kids – this was at the time when NBC had the rights to
the AFC games and CBS did the NFC games. Misty water colored memories.)
They sent a bunch of QBs who wanted the free vacation to Florida to
throw chalk tipped footballs and run through some cones. It was always
good for a giggle to watch these guys chuck footballs at enormous
bulls-eyes on golf carts. Because that’s exactly what it was like
throwing to a NFL receiver. Just make sure to get it with in 10 feet on
either side and you will get 50 points. (Still not as comical as the
one event which was longest toss which was basically the “chuck it as
far as you can” event. You know you saw GMs flipping out at the
unnecessary stress the poor poor rotator cuffs were under.)
Ken O’Brien
was in one of the
early versions of this before EA sponsored it and put real receivers in
it and had people like Bernie Kosar mock them. And O’Brien ruled. I
mean come on – all he had to do was not trip over his own feet, peg
targets with a modest bit of accuracy and not fear turnovers. Any thing
that made quarterbacks not fear the INT is an event that was designed
for a Jets signal caller. And I remember with all my heart that Ken
O’Brien won one of these puppies. I was stunned and remember at my
early age thinking about how it validated that Gang Green wasn’t as
hideously bad as they truly were.
Now – in
searching the stupid
internet – I discovered the Wikipedia page on
the “EA
Sports NFL Quarterback Challenge” and it claims that Dan Marino
won the first two years and then Jeff Hostetler won it (which I do
remember since it was in the offseason between from going to the
Raiders from the Giants… so so bitter). There is no source indicating
where the person who wrote the wikipedia entry got said results. So
basically my childhood and the last shreds that I hold onto it are
being destroyed by one random guy who may or may not be related Dan
Marino. (We know that Dan himself doesn’t know HTML). Looking back
sorta rationally – finding out that Ken O’Brien blew a lead to Dan
Marino and lost a fake title wouldn’t really be surprising. Maybe NBC
put in Pat Ryan to finish the competition. Also – if that list is
accurate – the stretch of winners from 96-00 is right up there with
Slam Dunk contests winners for worst Made-For-TV Event Champions. The
early years of Rock N Jock Baseball were far far better.
Jesus H… why
didn’t I save any of
the things that entertained me when I was young. Poor poor random
Globetrotters games and Superstars and Warner Wolf Plays of the Year
and Apter mags and Sports Illustrateds gone. I suck