FORGOTTEN
PLAYER OF THE MOMENT
LENNY RANDLE
(by PHIL RIPPA)
If you are anything like me
you are pasty and gangly while aging quickly with thinning hair that,
thankfully, most people can’t see due to being freakishly tall. You
hold on to those few fleeting precious moments of athletic glory as
long as you can and you delude yourself with the notion that you are
still in the same shape you were in as a high school senior by playing
co-ed sports, where in actuality the small satisfaction comes from the
college aged ladies in sports bras. You are a sad, sad, creepy middle
aged man.
Umm... what was my point?
If you are like me you will remember certain ball players for a
specific weird reason. To me: John Lowenstein will always be the guy
born on my birthday. Rick Monday will always be the guy who saved the
American flag. Flint Rhem will always be the guy who was “abducted” by
gangsters. Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich will always be the guys who
wife swapped. Rusty Kuntz will always be the guy with the greatest name
in baseball history. Steve Garvey will always have lots of kids and Ken
Phelps will always be the horrific result of the Jay Buhner trade.
Lenny Randle was special
enough to be goofy multiple times: well if you call goofy sucker
punching his manager and getting on his hands and knees in an attempt
to blow a bunt foul.
In
1970, Randle was a first round pick of the Washington Senators (the
version that was soon to become the Texas Rangers... hmmm... a
malcontent middle infielder who played for the Washington and Texas
teams. Where have I heard this story before?). Coming from Arizona
State, Randle promptly stunk. (Aww... I’m sorry Marc). I mean he
couldn’t beat out Tim Cullen for the starting second baseman gig and
Cullen hit .191/.252/.258 in 1971. Though one could argue that once
given full playing time, Randle was... league avearge (His OPS+ in 74
and 75, his first 2 full time years, were 102 and 100 respectively)
Lenny was about to reach his peak years. READY TO GET PAID!!! (Well
relative to what getting paid was in the late 70s fiasco of an economy
Jimmy Carter days was). So in 1976, Randle went out and put up...
.224/.286/.273... oh, that’s not good. Well at least he had those 30
steals.
It's Spring Training
1977, and Rangers manager Frank Lucchesi is thinking “Christ, I could
be playing Bump Wills and can get no-hitting freak boy out of the line
up. BRILLIANT!” Of course, Lucchesi says as much to the media which
probably brought a tear to Peter Gammons eye. Randle, clearly thinks he
deserves to be playing and one day during ST decides to talk to his
manager. Oh, I’m sorry, did I say talk to his manager. I meant, walk up
to him and pummel him. Lucchesi ends up with a shattered cheekbone.
(For the record, Lucchesi claimed he had his hands in his pockets when
Randle attacked. Randle claimed Lucchesi called him a punk and that’s
why he went all Kung Fu). Randle gets charged with aggravated battery
(which he could have served 15 years for). But since he is a baseball
player, he plea bargins down to simple battery which gets him a $1000
fine and having to pay Lucchesi’s medical bills. JUSTICE!
The Rangers also fine
Randle and suspend him for a month. They then traded him to the New
York Mets. Aww... that’s cute. Anyway – the Mets moved him to third and
Randle proceeded to have his career year. (Setting career highs in
almost every category – heck he even got some MVP votes.) Well that’s
an interesting way to motivate oneself. See... maybe Latrell Sprewell
was misunderstood all this time. HIS FAMILY DIDN'T EAT ALL THIS YEAR!!!
Anyway – the Mets quickly
found out whatever one else found out. Randle – not so good. In fact
the only good thing you could say about Randle’s 1978 season was that
he managed to have more walks than strikeouts for the first and only
time. ’79 was an even more interesting year for Randle, as he is one of
the last players cut by the Mets before the season began. He floats
around in the ether for a few months before the San Francisco Giants
sign him. He proceeds to play no game for the Giants and is thrown in
as part of the Bill Madlock to Pittsburgh deal. (ED WHITSON!). Randle
also never plays a game for the Pirates. And it what I can only assume
was a grave mistake due to grieving, the Yankees sign Randle for the
remainder of the season the day after Thurman Munson died. That was not
a... replacement of equal value.
Eventually our Lenny
Randle story takes us to, where else, Seattle (since we can just skip
the year with the Cubs. Hey, signing random black utility players was
the Cubs MO all the way back in 1980. I guess we need to lay off
Dusty). It is with the Mariners, where Lenny has his moment that got
him, well at least remembered at the end of the decade. (Ahh... Warner
Wolf Plays of the Decades... how I love thee so.)
With Kansas City visiting, Randle pulled off a defensive
play that I don’t think is calculated into Range Factor. Amos Otis
hits a slow roller down the third base line. Since this is Amos Otis we
are talking about, he is basically at first base already. Randle
charges and decides that his best play is to get down on his hands and
knees and blow on the ball until it rolls foul. The umps decided
“Yeah... can’t do that” and still award Otis a hit. Randle, idiot that
he his, claims that he was just trying to persuade the ball foul and
wasn’t really blowing. Rene Lachemann (aww... a Forgotten Coach of the
Moment candidate if there ever was one) blames the ball rolling foul on
Randle’s bad breath.
So right there – those
are the things Randle can tell his grandkids about. If I were him, I
would probably go with the MVP votes. Or that Jerry Royster is one of
his similars. Though, thinking about it – Lenny is probably going with
his Italian baseball accomplishments. (I WAS A BATTING CHAMP
DAMMIT!!!). Yeah, I am thinking he got at least one phone call before
the World Baseball Classic. Out of everything though – I am fairly
certain the one thing he omitted was his failed attempt at a comeback
with the Angels at age 45. Oh yeah – this could go on forever.