Backstory: I hadn’t been planning on playing fantasy football this year mainly because I am so over fantasy football since it is the same nonsense year after year. At least in baseball you can manage your team all year, improve after a craptastic draft and still finish in second to last. (I WILL BEAT YOU ED AGNER). Anyway – on the day I was moving, my boy Jamal mentioned to me that he was in a league with some random people from his work and they needed folks to join. So I said I would. Of course – when I agreed, the league was still free. Come to find out that like 3 days before the draft, the people running the league decide to make it a $50!!! entry fee. Stupid football. Anyway – I felt too guilty to back out so now I am sure I will get yelled at by my wife when I write that check.

Anyway – I am Team Name Here since I was far too lazy to actually think of something. The other folks to look for are the Silicon Valley Jets team picking right after me since the guy is a HUGE Jets fan (no – I don’t believe it is Mike Greenberg). Oh and Jamal (The Sandy Baby team) missed the draft and was at the mercy of the Yahoo rankings. You too can pick out the moment where I thought I was going to die from laughing so hard.

COMMENTS: I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I was that someone bit the Clinton Portis bullet before I picked. I mean, I am not thrilled with Rudi Johnson, but I definitely didn’t want Portis. Obviously, if I drafted Portis, he wouldn’t play a down this season. If I had passed on him – he would have rushed for 2000 yards and 49 TDs. Of course – I also laughed that 2 days after the draft, the guy who drafted Portis tried to trade him to me straight up for Rudi. Oops – someone clearly didn’t know Portis was hurt.

COMMENTS: So yeah, thanks to Yahoo, Jamal gets Carson Palmer and Chad Johnson with his first two picks. Poor poor relying on the Bengals with no running backs. Who am I to talk though – please get into the end zone more than 6 times Carnell. Pretty please. And why yes – that is Dominick Davis taken in the 2^nd round. No he isn’t healthy. Hey – at least he wasn’t waived.

COMMENTS: Sweet sweet Tight End love. I will admit I had been planning on taking Brian Westbrook but since he went off the board the pick before, Gates was all mine. For once I don’t have the underperforming Tony Gonzalez or Jeremy Shockey who doubly makes me sad each time he doesnt have a TD. Poor poor Jamal – Adam Vinatieri in the third round. Of course, since Jamal is also a Pats fan I thought he might have made that selection on his own. CLUTCH!!!! Again – this draft took place before Vinatieri’s called out sick for Adam.

COMMENTS: This would be Jets Mark first Jet pick. In theory – Lav Coles isn’t horrible... when you don’t think about how he is in the Jets offense... or that the guy selected receivers with his last two picks. For those scoring at home – which we are – Yahoo has now picked a QB, WR, K and TE for Jamal. Hehehehe.

COMMENTS: MIKE NUGENT!!! OHIO STATE!!!! FIFTH ROUND!!!

COMMENTS: Hehehehehe – Mike Nugent. Anyway – I was at this point of my draft it was either questionable receiver or Carolina’s defense since I have a huge man crush on Carolina’s defense. Alas, they were robbed from me. So I went with Mason. I WILL BELIEVE THE HYPE!!! Oof...

COMMENTS: I hate myself for taking Horn. Stupid league requiring three wideouts. And to make matters worse – since I am an idiot, my first two receivers both have their bye Week 7. (Granted for some reason this year, there are a couple of weeks were like 15 teams all have their byes at the same time.) I was stunned that Branch actually lasted to the 7^th round but since we had only one autopicker, he didn’t go as giggle inducing high as possible. And Lewis and Addai are both involved in our league’s first trade but I will get to that later.

COMMENTS: I drafted freaking Kennison. I might as well flush my $50 right now. Now since I hadn’t gotten Carolina’s defense, I figured I would get the Giants on the way back. And that dream was crushed. In fact – at first I was hoping that it was the Jets fan taking the Jets defense instead.

COMMENTS: I SUPPORT THE BLACK QB!!!! TAKE THAT RUSH!!! There are apparently three people in the league who are from Atlanta (including the Baby Elephant guy – duh). Well the Elephant guy had declared early that he was taking Michael Vick. So this round comes and he takes Bledsoe and leaves Vick for me. I mean I have a ton of problems with Michael Vick and the way that Atlanta runs its offense around him but for my backup – I am far happier with Vick than Bledsoe. Oh and don’t think I didn’t notice that Tatum Bell was selected a good 4 rounds before Mike Bell. Aww... Mike Shanahan’s word means nothing to this league.

COMMENTS: The pick of Jerramy Stevens was the final confirmation that no one in this league reads a newspaper or the internet. BUT HE HAD 500 YARDS LAST YEAR!!! SEATTLE!!! No I don’t feel any better about my $50.

COMMENTS: Have I mentioned that I really really really hate my wide receivers? Mind you – I could have selected Joey Porter but that would have been an ugly ugly decision. And Ed would have laughed at me for awhile. Why did you have to retire Ed McCaffrey? My life would have been so much simpler. I am going to have to pick up a white guy for a week just to feel whole again.

COMMENTS: Filling the kicker need here. Porter being off the board was a nice blessing since I probably would have been forced to pick him. (Oh and Porter has already changed teams since he was waived for Bobby Engram which helped the guy who picked the now worthless and teamless - both in real and fantasy worlds - Carlos Rogers.) The Toomer pick made me sad since I had figured on grabbing him in the next round. Curse you John Oates. I am glad you got cancer... okay, it’s not Johnny Oates but it makes me feel better.

COMMENTS: Micheal Jenkins is healthy. Michael Jenkins is healthy. Michael Vick can complete passes. I will repeat this for awhile. Greg Jones, being cripple and all,  is no longer on the Dan Fouts team. Replacing him with Jerious Norwood... well that is just wishful thinking.

COMMENTS: I only plan on starting the Skins on the TB bye week... well and the two times they play the Giants. Stupid everything.

COMMENTS: It is terribly wrong that my favorite pick of the entire draft was that I got Vernon Davis in the last round. Poor poor rest of the league. TIGHT END FREAK OF NATURE!!! I DON’T CARE THAT HE WENT TO MARYLAND!!! And I truly hope that my first round pick makes that Chris Perry selection worthless.

Oh – the pending trade I mentioned is Jamal trading Nate Burleson & Joseph Addai to that there Buzzles team for Jamal Lewis & Antwaan Randle El. I guess he realized having a RB that – ya know – actually played might be helpful. As for my team – well at least 3 people will die and I will struggle all year, sneak into the playoffs and then that will be the week that McNabb throws 5 picks. Grr..