USFL Fantasy Draft

LOOKING BACK IN ANGER!!!
Phil and Ed do a USFL Fantasy draft

Backstory: I brought up Irv Eatman for some reason which led Bill to suddenly suggest doing a USFL fantasy draft. I was immediately stoked for it. (So stoked that the idea of a XFL fantasy draft also sounded like a good idea.) Ed was agreeable to it – primarily because it was a, albeit brief, distraction from the daily hell that is his life. Bill then backed out because he realized he was like 3 months old when the USFL was in existence. So Ed and did this in an afternoon all while ducking Big Brother.

Ed: How do we want to work it then?
Rippa: I was thinking we could do one of two things - we could do a straight draft for however many people we want to do
Rippa: Or we could make picks by position
Rippa: Like do Quarterbacks
Ed: Oh man, there are so many good RB's to pick from
Rippa: and then go back and forth and pick two each
Ed: But the QB's are the suck
Rippa: And like pick 3 RBs (which would include Fullbacks)
Rippa: Aww.... there were 3 sorta decent ones
Ed: Well, Young and Kelly
Ed: Who I wouldn't pick because I don't like them
Rippa: hehehe
Ed: And Flutie who we would fight over
Rippa: I didnt even think of Steve Young
Rippa: I was thinking of Flutie and Neuisehel too
Rippa: I think I am wedded to only one person in the entire USFL
Ed: Carthon or Oates?
Rippa: Carthon
Ed: Ooo, two Zendejas' to chose from
Ed: Let's just pick by position then
Rippa: Excuse me - there are two people in the USFL I am wedded too
Rippa: Yeah - position would probably make more sense
Rippa: That way we could alternate who starts, etc..

QUARTERBACKS

ED	RIPPA
Chuck Fusina - Philadelphia/Baltimore Stars	Doug Flutie - New Jersey Generals
Vince Evans - Chicago Blitz, Denver Gold	Doug Williams - Oklahoma/Arizona Outlaws

COMMENTARY
Ed: QB first then?
Rippa: Might as well
Ed: Ugh
Rippa: I say we each pick two QBs
Rippa: You can do the rational now, later or both
Ed: OK. Since I despise both Kelly and Steve Young
Ed: And don't really care for Hebert either
Rippa: Oh wait - what are we making our picks based on?
Rippa: USFL careers? all time?
Rippa: just general preference?
Ed: I always go with who I despise least
Rippa: that works
Ed: I will be kind and let you have Flutie
Rippa: Mine will end up being most likely - guys I would sleep with
Rippa: You can have Flutie
Ed: So I will take Chuck Fusina
Rippa: There are plenty of Generals I am going to end up taking
Ed: Oooo, Vince Evans played in the USFL?
Rippa: Yup
Ed: OK. There's my second QB
Ed: How I love you Vince Evans
Rippa: Oh - I better write this down just in case I screw up and lose this log
Ed: Obviously, then. YOu will take Flutie and...
Rippa: God - the USFL page is really the greatest page ever
Ed: It makes me feel a zillion years old
Ed: Of course, I AM a zillion years old
Rippa: I was ignoring that part
Ed: God, I could list like ten RB's
Rippa: Oh yeah
Rippa: God - too bad I cant do a supplemental CFL pick and take Warren Moon
Ed: We have to pimp this page when we put this up
Ed: Oh yeah. I was hoping Moon was eligible
Ed: Ooo, Sean Landetta is out there for you too
Rippa: The third person I am wedded too
Ed: That was a given
Rippa: Can I say Ricky Ray and pretend its the CFL QB instead of random CB?
Ed: No
Ed: That pic of Neuheisel is outstanding
Rippa: Aww... I just realized that you didnt draft Brian Sipe
Rippa: which was the whole initial joke Bill and I had about this
Ed: hehehehe
Ed: Just because he helped the Raiders, doesn't mean he was one
Ed: Oh man, Keith Millard
Rippa: Okay - my 2nd QB is Doug Williams
Ed: F***!!!!
Rippa: hehehehehehe
Rippa: I so didnt feel dirty drafting him
Ed: Well, that will need to get cut out of the piece
Ed: How did I forget Williams?
Rippa: HA!
Rippa: You were blinded by hate for Steve Young and Jim Kelly
Ed: God I suck at drafting
Ed: Exactly

RATIONALE
PR: Yeah – I so drafted the QBs that the NFL so didn’t want in their league. Flutie because he was too tiny and Williams because he was too black. Much like Ed, I would have felt dirty with a lot of other QBs on my squad. If we draft a full squad, my third QB would have probably have been Cliff Stoudt. If I wanted to make sure that the entire team was under constant investigation, THEN I would have drafted Rick Neuheisel. Of course, if I had drafted Stoudt, I would have had to put up screens so people didn’t throw anything at him. Poor poor crappy Pittsburgh Maulers.

ED: I took Fusina because, like I stated, I hate Kelly and Young…and mostly-hated Bobby Hebert. Of course, I didn’t search long enough to see Doug Williams. I hate myself as much as you hate me. Fusina was a Penn State QB…like I don’t know the pain of that. Stupid Kerry Collins. So I will not be able to pass. My only hope is that Fusina goes down so VINCE EVANS can come in and do his mop-up magic. Mmm, Vince Evans, I do love you. If we had to go three deep, I would have taken Greg Landry so Vince Evans wouldn’t feel old.

RUNNING BACKS

ED	RIPPA
Kelvin Bryant - Philadelphia/Baltimore Stars	Maurice Carthon - New Jersey Generals
Gary Anderson - Tampa Bay Bandits	Mike Rozier - Pittsburgh Maulers, Jacksonville Bulls
Joe Cribbs - Birmingham Stallions	Buford Jordan - New Orleans/Portland Breakers

COMMENTARY
Rippa: Okay - how many RBs do you want to do?
Rippa: I say at least 3
Rippa: but I could do 4
Ed: I now qualify for a front office job with the Vikings
Ed: 3 and a WR/RB slot?
Rippa: Okay - lets do that. We will do 3 RBs
Rippa: then we finish the Offense we can do like 2 or 3 offensive wild cards
Rippa: That way we can correct mistakes as they go along
Ed: Nice
Ed: OK. RB
Rippa: And lets alternate picks just so you dont regret things again
Ed: Oh man, so many great RB's
Rippa: Okay - I have dibs on Maurice Carthon
Ed: Fine
Rippa: so you pick one of the 459 other great ones
Ed: I will take Kelvin Bryant
Rippa: Oh yeah - so forgot that I had to right things down
Rippa: hold on a sec
Ed: Oh, I love me some Kelvin Bryant
Ed: God, his bio depressed me
Ed: "last player to touch the ball in a USFL game"
Rippa: who were your QBs again
Ed: Sigh
Ed: Uhh...Doug Williams
Ed: hehehehe
Ed: Fusina and VINCE EVANS!!!
Rippa: okay - lets see
Ed: Oh man, I do not remember Carthon as a Colt
Rippa: God... so many many choices
Rippa: I am trying to avoid taking Walker so I dont have a billion Generals
Ed: Craig James!!!
Rippa: Sorry - the crazy guy has come into the office for the 5th straight day
Ed: hehehe
Ed: And I am on a stupid call
Ed: Which doesn't stop me from doing other things
Rippa: oh yeah - this stupid woman in my office thinks he is harmless
Rippa: thankfully - everyone else thinks he is crazy
Ed: So she will be the only one killed
Rippa: Sadly - she is leaving for the day shortly
Rippa: so when the shooting starts, I will be in the front line
Rippa: *sigh*
Ed: Sweet
Rippa: Okay - I am going to take Mike Rozier
Ed: Poop
Rippa: Aww... I can draft Walker and then trade him to you for multiple picks
Ed: hehehe
Ed: OK. Dumb call is over.
Ed: Oh yeah, I will take Gary Anderson. The RB not the kicker
Rippa: Grr....
Ed: hehehe
Ed: Aww, just go ahead and take Walker
Rippa: Oh no - I am going to take Buford Jordan
Ed: Crap. I keep getting distracted by that Neuheisel pic
Rippa: hehehehe
Rippa: Now you will have to take Walker
Ed: Oh no. I will take Billy Cribbs
Ed: Too bad Billy Sims got screwed over on jumping to the USFL
Ed: Joe Cribbs I mean
Rippa: HA!
Ed: hehehe. I confused Cribbs and Sims
Rippa: and Joe Gibbs sorta
Ed: hehehehe
Ed: God, neither of us took Flutie or Walker
Ed: Aww, Marcus DuPree!
Rippa: no I have Flutie
Rippa: I so took Jordan over Dupree
Rippa: and I will most likely take Walker in the wild cards unless better things come up
Ed: Aww, Mo Clarett v. 1.0

RATIONALE
ED: Kelvin Bryant was a beast. I seem to recall a horrendous knee injury that cut short his career, but man was he a beast. He could be a power runner, run around the end, catch passes, the whole enchilada. Of course, he ended up with Washington in the late 80’s where they had like 400 great RB’s at the ends of their careers, so he barely ever touched the ball in the NFL. I assume Joe Gibbs would play him today if he could. Gary Anderson, the RB, was a sweet little scat back type of guy who could do everything. He had a big year with San Diego in 88. Then held out in 89 and, of course, torched his knee. I am a cancer even when I draft guys after the fact. Joe Cribbs was another nifty little back of the early-80’s when the NFL was stocked with really nice RB’s. Cribb’s cheesed off the entire NFL by jumping to the USFL, which lead to a lot of other guys trying to get out of their contracts to jump too…Like Billy Sims, who signed with like 700 teams at once and had the courts tell him he was stuck playing for the Lions. Sims got his revenge by scorching his knee. Anyway, I love-love-love my RB’s. Which is good since my QB’s suck.

PR: Ed getting Gary Anderson was kind of a blow as I thought I might be able to grab him with my last pick. I am a Giants fan from the 80s. And I love a great running game. Man crush complete. Sweet sweet blocking and running. (How much did the 85 Generals run? While Walker set the league record with 2411 yards, Carthon still had over 700 yards and 6 TDs himself.) Buford Jordan actually rushed the ball for the Breakers instead of being a cripple like people Ed ended up taking. Aww…. I am not a Marcus Dupree fan. When takin Rozier, I did not plan on drafting all the Heisman trophy winners who played in the USFL (well in truth, I forgot Archie Griffin played in the USFL until it was too late. I suck.) I mean, it’s not like I have to play him every down and wait for him to get his sea legs underneath him. Poor poor crappy Pittsburgh Maulers.

WIDE RECEIVERS

ED	RIPPA
Anthony Carter - Michigan Panthers, Oakland Invaders	Gary Clark - Jacksonville Bulls
Trumaine Johnson - Arizona Wranglers,	JoJoTownsell - Los Angeles Express
Henry "Gizmo" Williams - Memphis Showboats	Ricky Sanders - Houston Gamblers

COMMENTARY
Ed: So WR's now?
Rippa: yeah
Rippa: TEs will be seperate - I should mention that now
Ed: Ehh. There were only like two decent TE's
Rippa: well - I figured we would take 1 each there
Rippa: but that just makes things easier
Ed: Ooo, I see a WR I will take later
Ed: Your pick then
Rippa: how many WRs are we doing?
Ed: 3?
Rippa: that works
Ed: So you taking Anthony Carter or not?
Rippa: hehehehehe
Rippa: I hadnt decided yet
Rippa: If you want him that bad, you can take him as the first pick
Ed: Well, it is your pick
Ed: And Mel Gray doesn't count as a WR
Rippa: I know - though I was trying to figure out if we wanted to do that
Ed: Oh, we can make a KR pick. There were enough decent ones
Rippa: well we need lots of special teams
Rippa: I mean will all the good kickers and Sean Landeta
Rippa: God - this makes me Giants fandom cringe but I am taking Gary Clark
Ed: Oh yeah, god the NFL had to have had some lousy kickers around at this time
Ed: hehehehe
Ed: Fine, I'll take Anthony Carter
Rippa: hehehehe
Rippa: JoJo Townsell
Ed: HAH
Ed: Trumaine Johnson, motherf***er!
Rippa: hehehehe
Rippa: I just wanted to drafted JoJo. He probably would get hurt if I sent him an email
Ed: HAH
Ed: Shoot, got distracted by the Neuheisel pic again
Ed: OK. One more WR then
Rippa: Okay - I have a toss up right now but like 4 guys so I am now regretting my JoJo pick
Ed: hehehehe
Rippa: I am going take Ricky Sanders
Ed: I have a sleeper pick that will cheese you off
Ed: Ooo, Ricky Sanders is a nice pick
Ed: But I will take...CFL GOD!!!
Ed: GIZMO F***ING WILLIAMS!!!
Rippa: hehehehe
Ed: God I was hoping you wouldn't pick him
Rippa: there were a lot of guys I almost took and might still take

RATIONALE
PR: It’s Gary Clark. I mean sure people ignore Art Monk when praising him and he is probably keeping Monk out of the Hall of Fame but it’s still freaking Gary Clark. He went to James Madison and still became an exceptional athlete. (Aww…. I still can’t let collegiate year hate go.) And now Big Blue hasn’t asked me to turn in my fan card for picking so many Skins. RUN ‘N’ SHOOT! How you tricked me into taking Sanders. But how could I draft Doug Williams and not take Sanders? 80 YARDS!!! And then there was the comical selection of Jo Jo. Aww… it was the 80s and the Jets weren’t good but they were lovable. And Jo Jo could run. If this was a movie he would be Featherstone. Can I call this my IR pick?

ED: Anthony Carter was always the better Carter…MUCH better than Chris. Other than Herschel, Carter was the biggest college star to stiff the NFL and go to the USFL in the first USFL draft. The NFL life didn’t work out as well for Carter as most figured, but he had a nice little career just the same. Of course, Anthony scorched his knee and Chris Carter held on forever. And life is unfair. Deal with it. Trumaine Johnson was god-like in the USFL. But he was small and frail and didn’t do a whole lot in the NFL after the league folded. I want to blame Pete Rozelle. And Gizmo Williams…Ahh, Gizmo Williams. He can be my second coach too.

TIGHT ENDS

ED	RIPPA
Raymond Chester - Oakland Invaders	Dan Ross - New Orleans/Portland Breakers

COMMENTARY
Ed: TE's then?
Rippa: yeah
Ed: Ooooo. My pick?
Rippa: sure
Ed: RAYMOND F***ING CHESTER!!!
Rippa: dammit
Ed: I need to change my pants
Ed: Mmm, Raymond Chester
Ed: I was going to go with a local boy, but no way I could pass up Chester
Rippa: hehehe
Rippa: I have no clue who I want
Ed: Dan Ross?
Rippa: eh
Rippa: I was hoping for something better but it is the TEs
Ed: Well yeah. The USFL was not exactly a TE league
Rippa: screw it - I will take Dan Ross

RATIONALE
PR: Ed took the only good Tight End. I could have named anyone. It wouldn’t have mattered. Ross should at least be able to provide extra blocking.

ED: Mmm, Raymond Chester. There is nothing more that needs to be said. I will forsake the long pass in favor of RB’s out of the backfield and dumps to craggily ol’ Chester. Mmm, Raymond Chester.

OFFENSIVE LINE

ED	RIPPA
Tackle: Irv Eatman - Philadelphia/Baltimore Stars	Tackle: Gary Zimmerman - Los Angeles Express
Guard: Dave Lapham - New Jersey Generals	Guard: Buddy Aydelette - Birmingham Stallions
Center: George Yarno - Denver Gold	Center: Bart Oates - Philadelphia/Baltimore Stars

COMMENTARY
Ed: OK. What do we want to do about the O-line?
Rippa: Umm - 2 regardless of position?
Ed: HAH! I was looking at Memphis for TE's
Ed: Oh, run and shoot how you trick me
Rippa: hehehehe
Ed: Or one T, one G and one C?
Rippa: that works
Ed: OK. For T I'll take Irv Eatman
Rippa: hehehe - that was a no brainer
Ed: Mmm, Eatman
Rippa: just like my C is Bart Oates
Ed: Well, duh
Rippa: My tackle is Gary Zimmerman
Ed: Motherf***er!
Ed: He qualified as G too
Rippa: HA!
Rippa: I was like well f*** - you took the only other good Tackle
Ed: True
Rippa: okay - you pick a guard or center and then I will pick my guard
Ed: Oof. Let me look
Ed: I keep seeing Fred Dean on the list and think THE Fred Dean
Rippa: hehehehe - you wish
Ed: Oh yeah
Rippa: you mean like I keep seeing Howard Carson and thinking "HARRY CARSON!!!! I WILL KILL ED IF HE DRAFTS HIM!!!!"
Ed: hehehehe
Ed: OK. For G I will take Dave Lapham
Ed: God, Oates was the only good C
Ed: Aww, I could have taken Lugar
Rippa: hehehehe
Ed: But that would have gone against my guys I hate least
Rippa: I am not going to take Nate Newton as my G even though I am sure having a drug runner on the team would be helpful
Rippa: Okay my G is Buddy Aydelette
Rippa: you can pick your C when you get back. I am going to nuke my lunch and eat it
Ed: Aww, I skipped right by Nate
Rippa: so figure we can restart in like 20 minutes
Ed: Stupid calls
Rippa: did you pick a center yet? or are you hoping to sneak someone in on a eligibility loophole
Ed: hehehe
Ed: I am searching while pretending to listen to this guy bitch
Ed: I guess I will take George Yarno
Rippa: aww... and you will never run up the middle
Ed: Stupid crappy centers

RATIONALE
ED: Yes, I should have taken Kent Hull over Yarno. But I can live with that as long as I have Eatman. Fusina getting crippled by blitzes up the middle might make me happy, actually. But if I really wanted that, I would have taken Lugar.

PR: Oh, I am sorry. Am I supposed to write now? Let me get off my knees and take Bart Oates d… whoops. Wrong website. A member of the 86 Giants. That explains that. I know Zimmerman will play till the end of time. I do wish he had missed a block here and there so Steve Young could have gotten creamed but this is not a perfect world. Buddy Aydelette was arguably one of the best offensive linemen to play in the USFL. So of course, that got him zero looks by the bitter, bitter NFL executives. Of course – he did also torch his knee since he is a fat lineman. Anyway, it’s not like I don’t have QBs who can’t move once my line’s holding tactics fail.

WILD CARD - OFFENSE

ED	RIPPA
Jim Smith (WR) - Birmingham Stallions	Herschel Walker (RB) - New Jersey Generals
Marcus Dupree (RB) - New Orleans/Portland Breakers	Clarence Verdin (WR) - Houston Gamblers
Arthur Whittingham (RB) - Oakland Invaders	Eric Truvillion (WR) - Tampa Bay Bandits

COMMENTARY
Ed: OK. So WC O picks then?
Rippa: well in like 15 minutes just because I will need to go into the conference room to eat my lunch
Rippa: how many WC? 2?
Ed: I need to shake this moron
Ed: 2 WC's would be fine
Rippa: okay - I will be back in like 10 - 15 minutes
Ed: Cool
Rippa: oh yeah - so ate that far too quickly
Ed: God, and I FINALLY just shook that moron
Rippa: was he trying to sell you a computer game that beat big blue?
Ed: Maybe. I quit listening a couple of minutes in
Ed: Oh. I'm an idiot
Rippa: aww.... there are like 5 more guys I want to pick
Ed: I f***ed up my C pick
Ed: I should have taken Kent Hull
Rippa: hehehe - we are so going to get hate mail with this
Ed: BAH
Ed: Other than Dean, who?
Rippa: Oh like there arent crazed USFL fans that wont stumble upon the site
Ed: Well, maybe some crazed Kelly and Steve Young fans
Rippa: Okay - who is going first with the wild card pick
Ed: I will
Ed: And I will take Jim Smith because I will need more WR's since I won't be able to run the ball
Rippa: well I am going to take I might as well take Herschel Walker now
Rippa: of course - in my mind, that statement came out in English
Ed: Sadly I understood it
Ed: OK. So I will take Marcus DuPree
Rippa: hehehe - he and JoJo can carpool when each is crippled
Ed: Though I should obviously have taken Arthur Whittingham
Rippa: And let's do three guys so we can write more about the USFL
Ed: OK. Gimme Whittingham then
Rippa: There ya go
Rippa: I am going to take Clarence Verdin
Ed: Nice. I was wondering if I could sneak him in as a KR
Ed: OK. K's then?
Rippa: wait - I still need a third
Rippa: which allows me to take Eric Truvillion

RATIONALE
PR: Now, while we hated a lot of “famous” NFL playes (Kelly, Young, Nate Newton, etc…) there is no way that Herschel Walker wasn’t making one of our teams. So running the ball down Ed’s throat. Of course, I could throw it all over the place too. I needed lots and lots of WR depth to overcome Jo Jo. Verdin will be my backup returner when Mel Gray dies and I cry. I will just need to put duct tape on Verdin’s hands. Poor little fumbles. Truvillion had 1000 yard years the first two USFL seasons. Then he was miserable the third year. Since the Lions signed him you all can figure out that he was done for good.

ED: Jim Smith was a nice WR – not like that would matter with my QB’s. And he played for the Raiders for a spell. Easy pick. Marcus DuPree I took just so we could explain the DuPree history. He was supposed to be the next Eric Dickerson. But he spent all of a year at Oklahoma before declaring himself a financial hardship and jumping to the USFL. And, let’s face it, the USFL didn’t care about wrecking the NCAA. It got a lot of press for the USFL and the league needed that badly. The college goobers complained about DuPree jumping and the NFL guys declared it bad for all of football. Of course, it didn’t matter since DuPree scorched his knee early on in his USFL career. Which of course, led to a lot of suits pointing and laughing. Stupid NFL. DuPree tried a comeback with the Rams after the USFL folded but his knee was too far gone. Stupid NFL. And Arthur Whittingham was a fun little back up RB for the Raiders in the late-70’s, early-80’s. That’s all the justification I needed to have him on my team.

SPECIAL TEAMS

ED	RIPPA
Kicker: Tony Zendejas - Los Angeles Express	Kicker: Nick Mike-Mayer - San Antonio Gunslingers
Punter: Stan Talley - Oakland Invaders	Punter: Sean Landeta - Philadelphia/Baltimore Stars
Kick Return: Gerald McNeil - Houston Gamblers	Kick Return: Mel Gray - Los Angeles Express

COMMENTARY
Rippa: Okay - we can kinda do this like the OL
Rippa: 1 K, 1 P and 1 returner
Rippa: Of course - since I will hurt you if I dont get Mel Gray and Sean Landeta
Ed: Fine
Rippa: I am 2/3 done
Ed: I will take Tony Zendejas and Gerald McNeil
Ed: I now need a P
Rippa: aww... you made Luis Zendejas cry
Ed: Hey, 6 one, half dozen the other
Ed: Oh yeah, I've got my P - Stan Talley
Ed: So you taking Luis then?
Rippa: God no
Ed: hehehehe
Rippa: I have one I am looking at but I am trying to see if I can trump him
Rippa: though Scott Norwood would be really ironic
Ed: Why do you deny Tony Fritsch?
Ed: hehehehe
Ed: Norwood works on the Sipe scale
Ed: Shoot!!!!
Ed: I should have taken Jeff Gossett as my P
Rippa: I am taking Nick Mike-Mayer
Rippa: ARENA BITCHES!!!!
Ed: Ooooo

RATIONALE
ED: I still should have taken Jeff Gossett as my punter. Tony Zendejas was all sorts of cool beans back in my day. So at least I can kick the 50 yard field goals I will be stuck with. Ice Cube – would he be the original Ice Cube? Would I be too pathetic to make any Ice Cube references here? Yes. And yes. Well, at least I can start with good field position thanks to Ice Cube. Not like I’m moving the ball.

PR: Having both Landeta and Flutie means that I technically have both players still active in the NFL who played in the USFL. Another member of the 86 Giants who I would have to have ugly ugly sex with. Mel Gray will get his own FPOTM one of these days and if Ed even though about taking him, I was going to have to drive to Ohio and punch him in the face. Oh and that is the Mel Gray who was a running back who played in the NFL AFTER the USFL and not the Mel Gray who was the wide receiver who played in the NFL BEFORE the USFL. And then yell at him for having IM at work. Nick Mike-Mayer is a great sleeper because not only was he in the USFL and the NFL but he also played in the AFL. Since he could actually put the ball in between the uprights the Bills decided they could no longer keep him. Of course, the Bills then signed Scott Norwood AFTER the USFL folded. Aww…. No wonder they were giddy to see the league end.

DEFENSIVE LINE

ED	RIPPA
Keith Millard - Jacksonville Bulls	William Fuller - Philadelphia/Baltimore Stars
Reggie White - Memphis Showboats	Kit Lathrop - Chicago Blitz, Arizona Outlaws
Larry Bethea - Michigan Panthers, Oakland Invaders, Houston Gamblers	Cedrick Hardman - Oakland Invaders

COMMENTARY
Ed: OK. Now onto D?
Rippa: yeah
Ed: How many linemen?
Rippa: oof - I guess would should play a 4-3
Ed: Ahh. I was going to suggest 3 line, 2 LB, 2 DB's?
Rippa: aww... that's so much easier than my way
Ed: I aim for easy
Rippa: THough we probably should do 3,3 and 3
Ed: Can we scrounge that many?
Rippa: well at least with the DL and LBs
Rippa: we can stay with 2 secondaries
Ed: OK my first pick for DL - KEITH F***ING MILLARD!!!
Ed: Like that Ricky Ray who played in the USFL isn't confusing the hell out of me
Rippa: hehehehe
Rippa: or the Jeff George who played corner
Ed: hehehe
Ed: Well, it's not like I would pick Jeff George for anything
Rippa: I just like working the reference in because then we can make fun of Len P.
Ed: hehehe. Aww, but he's destined for a heart attack soon
Ed: I keep looking for Leon White too
Rippa: hehehehe
Rippa: Okay - my first DL is William Fuller
Ed: So I could take Vader and you could have Lugar
Rippa: Sure try to stick me with Luger
Ed: hehehehe
Ed: Ron Simmons then?
Rippa: that works
Ed: I mean if we can believe Jim Ross' worked football history
Rippa: I would take the Rock over Luger - who in the world of wrestling probably founded the USFL
Ed: hehehehe
Rippa: and then Vince McMahon secretly bought it out so he could start the XFL years later
Ed: HAH
Ed: Well shoot, someone has to take him...
Ed: Gimme Reggie White
Rippa: aww... I was going to take him just so I could put off looking for someone better
Ed: That's exactly why I took him
Rippa: Just because I am afraid you might take him - I will take Kit Lathrop now and look for someone else
Rippa: I didnt want to risk missing him
Ed: Crap
Ed: OK. Just to make Dean happy
Ed: I will take Larry Bethea
Rippa: You will just make him happy by selecting someone older than him
Ed: That too
Ed: Bathroom. brb
Rippa: I will think of my third guy
Rippa: I am going to make you cry
Rippa: Cedrick Hardman
Ed: aww
Ed: I really should have scoured the list better

RATIONALE
PR: Oh yeah – Williams Fuller so allowed me to not have to draft Reggie White. Mmm… sacks. Kit Lathrop was all over the All-League teams (heck he was Lineman of the Year twice) and then was all about coaching Canadians in the finer points of playing defense. And all of that was done on a dare. So the moral kids is peer-pressure your friends. I picked Cedrick Hardman solely to upset Ed. Poor little forgotten Raiders. Of course, Hardman is really a Niner but Ed still forgot him. AND I BENEFIT!!!! TRY TO RUN THE BALL AGAINST MY GIRTH!!!!

ED: I am no great fan of Reggie White, but a White-Millard front makes me happy. Larry Behea on the other hand…yeah, that’s just to make Dean happy. Of course, Millard will have to make all the stops on run with Reggie not being a run guy and Bethea…Bethea just there to make Dean happy.

LINEBACKERS

ED	RIPPA
Gary Plummer - Oakland Invaders	Sam Mills - Philadelphia/Baltimore Stars
Vaughan Johnson - Jacksonville Bulls	Ray Bentley - Michigan Panthers, Oakland Invaders
Stan White - Chicago Blitz, Arizona Wranglers	John Corker - Michigan Panthers, Memphis Showboats

LINEBACKERS
Ed: Lb's then?
Rippa: yup
Rippa: you started the DL right?
Ed: 3 of them?
Ed: Yeah, I started the DL
Rippa: Okay - I will start and yes three
Rippa: I am grabbing Sam Mills
Ed: Bastard
Ed: OK. Gimme Gary Plummer
Rippa: thankfully we didnt put in a "must be alive rule"
Ed: hehehe
Rippa: of course - the fact that two of our recent picks are dead just makes me feel even older
Rippa: Oh and I am taking Ray Bentley
Ed: HAH
Ed: I was hoping I could avoid Bentley
Rippa: I figured I wouldnt have to worry about you selecting him
Ed: Oh no
Rippa: I should state now that it is really really shameful that I didnt draft Billy Taylor
Ed: Like I am that I didn't take Thayer
Rippa: Well with Taylor - he is at like every sporting good store in the New York metro area so I have some hate
Ed: Andy Hawkins the LB is just screaming for you to take, Phil
Rippa: only because it would prompt me to write the Andy Hawkins FPOTM
Ed: OK. Gimme Vaughan Johnson
Ed: Oh this 3rd LB pick is going to be painful
Rippa: hehehe
Rippa: Well I got confused and started thinking of DEs
Rippa: so that didnt help
Rippa: I will take John Corker
Ed: And I will take Stan White

RATIONALE
ED: Well, Plummer will help Millard with stopping the run. Vaughan Johnson too. Stan White had to be 700 years old at this point. But hey, every team needs VETERAN PRESENCE!!!

PR: Sam Mills was tiny and great. Of course, he was disrespected because the NFL was filled with bitter men. I so hope that every time he hit someone, Mills was thinking about Bill Tobin and Mike Brown. Can’t imagine why the Bears fell off a cliff after the Super Bowl and why Cincy stunk (besides being in Ohio). I better move on. Hey, Ed’s hate of the Bills allowed me to draft Bentley. Corker was another guy who also had a stint in Arena which means I am biased. Racked up 28 freaking sacks in the inaugural USFL season. Yeah… didn’t come close to that total again. But still, I am sure he can catch Ed’s QBs.

SECONDARY

ED	RIPPA
Corner: Frank Minnifeld - Chicago Blitz, Arizona Wranglers	Corner: Mossy Cade - Memphis Showboats
Safety: Luther Bradley - Chicago Blitz, Arizona Wranglers, Houston Gamblers	Safety: Mike Lush - Philadelphia/Baltimore Stars

COMMENTARY
Rippa: do you want to do 2 from the secondary or 1 safety and 1 Cb?
Ed: Not much there either way
Rippa: lets do one and one
Rippa: then we can always add with a WC later
Ed: OK. My pick then?
Rippa: yeah
Ed: Frank Minnifield
Rippa: aww....
Ed: Yeah. I will have to score 300 points a game
Rippa: God - I think I want to play 11 in the box
Ed: Like you would need that with my O-line
Rippa: well all you have to do is double Gary Clark and I am screwed
Ed: Well, I have WR's but I have no QB's
Ed: Poor Vince Evans
Rippa: Jesus - no wonder this was such an offensive friendly league
Ed: Oh yeah
Ed: The corners sucked
Rippa: Ooof - I am takin Mike Lush
Rippa: that gives me more time to think of a CB
Ed: Based entirely on his bio, I am taking Luther Bradley
Rippa: hehehehe
Rippa: God - I so should take this nise Ricky Ray
Rippa: I mean he even played in the CFL
Ed: hehehe
Rippa: I enjoy that the USFL had corners named both Ricky Ray and Jeff George
Ed: Poor-poor Ricky Ray
Ed: brb
Rippa: I am taking Mossy Cade and being done with it

RATIONALE
ED: Hey, Frank Minnifield was a four time Pro Bowler! Look at all those stops he had on Elwa---Right. Poor li’l Browns fans. And you really need to read the Luther Bradley bio on the USFL page. Not that Phil won’t just run the ball all over the place on me anyway.

PR: Mossy Cade was a ridiculous cover cover when he attended the University of Texas. The same followed when he played in the USFL. Ended up being the 6th overall pick in the 84 NFL draft. Of course, he refused to play for the Chargers, got traded to the Packers and stunk. We are going to ignore that though. Hey, his name is Lush. Sweet sweet booze. I give up.

WILD CARD – DEFENSE

ED	RIPPA
David Greenwood (S) - Michigan Panthers, Oakland Invaders	Pete Kugler (DL) - Philadelphia/Baltimore Stars
Doug Plank (S) - Chicago Blitz	Gary Barbaro (S) - New Jersey Generals
Wymon Henderson (CB) - Los Angeles Express	Junior Ah You (DL) - Chicago Blitz, New Orleans Breakers, Arizona Outlaws

COMMENTARY
Rippa: I think we need 3 defensive WCs
Rippa: I mean we have 15 offensive players and only 8 defenders (not counting the 3 ST guys)
Ed: Well, this is a crappy league for defense
Rippa: well I have found two guys already I am regretting not drafting
Ed: Oh, I completely f***ed up my O-line
Ed: Do you want to do one more Dback then?
Ed: Because I would gladly take David Greenwood
Rippa: aww... you suck
Ed: hehehehe
Rippa: I would rather do the WCs
Ed: Hey, you got Mossy Cade
Rippa: okay - so you want David Greenwood
Ed: And Gary Barbaro is still out there
Ed: Oh, yeah. I'll take Greenwood
Rippa: I will take Pete Kugler
Ed: I thought you already took him
Rippa: no
Ed: No. You did not
Rippa: Kit Lathrop, William Fuller and Cedrick Hardman
Rippa: hehehehehe
Ed: But he's not a D-back
Rippa: he was a tackle
Rippa: I was doing the WC
Ed: Ahh
Rippa: not another secondary
Ed: I gotcha
Rippa: but let me grab a third secondary too
Ed: I am OK with my D-Line
Rippa: aww... like you dont need to shore up everywhere
Ed: So I need one more WC then?
Rippa: Okay - you can have Gary Barnaro if you want
Ed: Well, true
Ed: No. I'm OK with my secondary
Rippa: hehehehe
Rippa: WEll we need 3 WCs - one of them you used on Greenwood
Rippa: and I used one on Kugler
Ed: Of course, they will have to be the 85 Bears with my QB's
Rippa: I will take Barbaro if you are not though
Rippa: and I will cry if you take my third WC
Ed: God the defense sucks
Rippa: God I am so giddy about my third WC.
Rippa: You get two picks and I will take the last one
Ed: F***!
Ed: DOUG MOTHERF***ING PLANK!!!
Rippa: hehehehe
Rippa: one more for you
Ed: Oh, I'm giddy about my secondary now
Rippa: and that wasnt my guy
Ed: God...
Ed: Why can't that be the real Fred Dean
Rippa: I am glad its not the real Andy Hawkins
Ed: hehehe
Ed: You would be better adjusted if it was
Rippa: you are just going to draft KiKi DeAyala to be done with it
Ed: F*** it!
Ed: I will take Wyomon Henderson and make you run the ball at me
Rippa: hehehehehe
Ed: So what's your 3rd pick?
Rippa: Well I am going to make your candy ass QBs throw the ball
Rippa: Well I realized that I needed a Hall of Famer
Rippa: and I needed to appeal to our Canadian readership
Ed: Crap
Rippa: JUNIOR MOTHER AH F***ING YOU!!!!!!
Ed: Hey, I took Gizmo
Ed: F***
Ed: I suck
Rippa: hehehehehe
Rippa: HAWAII BITCHES!!!!
Ed: God damnit! How did I not pay any attention to him?
Rippa: I am so so so giddy

RATIONALE
ED: Greenwood, Plank and Wymon assure I will shut down Phil’s passing game. And Plank laying the wood on Herschel would be worth the price of admission. Keith Millard sure is going to get tired of being the only one making tackles on the running plays though. We would have some ugly-ugly-ugly games.

PR: Aww…. Ed thinks my QBs are like his and can’t throw the ball. Barbaro will imagine every time Kansas City screwed him over with each pick of the softballs from Ed’s side. Meanwhile, Kugler was a Niner for far too long that I might have to pay one of Ed’s players to cheap shot him. None of that matters though because I HAVE CFL HALL OF FAMER JUNIOR AH YOU AND ED DOESN’T!!!!! That made this all worth it.

HEAD COACH

ED	RIPPA
George Allen - Chicago Blitz, Arizona Wranglers	Walt Michaels - New Jersey Generals

COMMENTARY
Ed: So I will pass on every down with bad QB's
Ed: And you can't throw on me
Ed: So it would be the worst possible game
Rippa: Aww... my QBs can scramble though
Rippa: OH! we need to draft coaches
Ed: Reggie White will track them down!
Ed: Or not
Rippa: hehehehe
Rippa: I just want to ignore Steve Spurrier just a little more
Rippa: Come on - DRAFT MOUSE DAVIS!
Ed: God, since I've got all the geezers
Ed: F***, I would love to take Mouse
Ed: But since I have the ol' VETERAN PRESENCE!!!
Ed: I will take George Allen
Rippa: Thank God
Ed: hehehehe
Rippa: Because I loathe Allen and Spurrier
Rippa: and Marv Levy
Rippa: Jim Mora would be great for the sound bites but I would feel dirty picking him
Ed: Aww, you are going to take Pardee so his coaches can fight
Rippa: Oh I am an idiot
Rippa: Walt Michaels
Ed: HAH!!!!
Ed: I WIN!!!
Rippa: God bless the New York coaches when I first started watching
Rippa: That was a sentimental pick
Rippa: Of course - this means every play will be called for JoJo and then we certainly will lose
Ed: hehehe
Rippa: ACTUALLY!!!! you negate the pass so I dont have to worry about JoJo
Ed: Right. And you have Herschel
Ed: Who Millard will kill
Ed: Those will be some ugly games
Rippa: F that - he has to get through Maurice Carthon to touch Herschel
Rippa: I will just have to hope that Walt Michaels thinks its 1981 again
Ed: What, do you think Reggie White can't play the ru-- Oh. Right.

RATIONALE
PR: Yeah, there we same name coaches with some pretty bad records in the USFL. I should have taken Matt Cavanaugh but Walt Michaels was the Generals coach and the coach of the very first Jets team I rooted for and Ray Perkins never coached in the USFL so there ya go.

ED: If I really knew I was going to take George Allen as my coach, I would have taken Greg Landry as my QB since even Vince Evans would have been too young for Allen. Yeah, Phil and I could have single-handedly killed the USFL in one season. God, they would have killed for that $1 settlement after we were done. I blame Pete Rozelle.