None of you are actually reading this so
I thought I would thank you for visiting the page anyway.
Even the David Carr bobblehead looks wrong.
Aww... Sonny was only kinda old back then.
The draft was oh so long ago.
Even the David Carr bobblehead looks wrong.
Aww... Sonny was only kinda old back then.
The draft was oh so long ago.
I listened to the first 10-15 minutes of the game on the radio on the way home from a futile trip to IKEA. That means listening to Sonny, Sam and Frank Larry Michael. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the Redskin homer announcers yes that is Sonny Jurgensen and Sam Huff. You see – Washington takes Homer announcers to a new level by sticking two players who were Hall of Famers for the franchise and are now in their 70s in the booth. So basically every game is Sam and Sonny randomly shouting out players names, being confused as to who the opposing players are (since they NEVER learn the opposing players names outside of the starting quarterback and even then it is just the last name. So David Carr is just CARR!) and genuinely bemoan how the referees are costing the Redskins the game. When listened to in small bursts – it’s a wildly entertaining. It’s like listening to John Sterling and Michael Kay’s dads. The majority of the Washington fan base is wildly in love with them because either they are old and white enough to have seen them actually play or are so fanboyish, they adore anything that might be tied to the team.
I enjoy that Fox clearly was afraid of an angry Dan Snyder protest if they sent Ron Pitts to call them game so they sent Sam Rosen and Tim Ryan. (Pitts was calling the Green Bay vs. Detroit game. So it’s actually a push on which matchup was worse.). This is where the stupid Fox carousel of announcers ends up biting as all in the butt. I like Sam Rosen. Of course, a lot of this has to do with being a Rangers fan and playing little league with his son and… well I covered all that in a baseball preview at some point in time. (And yes – Matt Rosen getting a gig in Phoenix made me even more depressed. Poor poor wasted life. Mine, not his.) But Rosen used to be paired with Bill Maas and they were a great team. Ryan used to be carried by Curt Menefee but since Fox decided to feed the beast that is Joe Buck’s ego and screw Menefee by giving him a token promotion, Ryan got moved to working with Rosen. (Almost all the pairings are changed now and they are as ugly as you could imagine.)
Have I mentioned that these teams are terrible? Just wanted to make sure I got that on the record no matter the outcome.
After Washington goes three and out after failing to convert on third and about 4 inches, Houston HAS IT’S GREATEST DRIVE EVER!!!! All joking aside, a similar vibe to the Philly game in Week One comes as David Carr connects with Andre Johnson for a 50+ yard bomb to the 2. Apparently Sean Taylor was too busy trying to holster his weapon instead of, ya know, covering someone. Mind you – the Philly drive showed the Texans actually able to run a sustained drive that was well organized. Here they get a huge play and immediately call a timeout since they are unsure what to do with a play that long. They do get a touchdown. So like the Eagles game – they are up 7-0 very early. And like the Eagles game – this would be the highlight.
Hey – Clinton Portis is sorta healthy but since he practiced this week, Joe Gibbs takes him out of the shame circle and plays him. Since Portis is the only good players the Skins have, they abuse him. Run about a trillion times. Then he takes a Mark Brunell shovel pass for a billion yards to set up Washington’s first score. Well, that will work well since Brunell is capable of throwing more than 3 yards beyond the line of scrimmage.
After the Portis run, Sam Huff and Larry Michael have the following conversation
LM “With Portis out needing a breather, Betts with the carry”
Sam “THAT’S NOT A BAD BACK OUT THERE EITHER. THIS GUY… BETTS… HAD A 100 YARD KICKOFF LAST WEEK!”
LM “That was Rock [Cartwright] last week.”
Sam “ROCK RAN LAST WEEK BUT LADELL IS RUNNING NOW!”
One of the young guys on the Texans defensive line is named Travis Johnson and that is confusing me so since one of my best friends is also named Travis Johnson. So I spent much of the game going “Geez – I know Travis played ball in High School and once knocked Donyell Marshall but I mean that was a long time ago and he takes lots of medication now and he never told me about being drafted. Still this is the Texans…”
David Carr got drafted and has been running for his life ever since. It’s 2006 and his OL is still miserable. Oh where have you gone Tony Boselli… oh wait. There were three straight Houston snaps that kinda sum everything up. 1) Fumble due to a bad exchange between Carr and center Drew Hodgdon. This would be because Hodgdon thought the snap occurred about two minutes before anyone else. 2) Sack (end of that drive). 3) First play of new series and Carr and Hodgdon botch the snap AGAIN. Excluding the one pass to Andre Johnson, Houston’s best offense was allowing the Skins to commit their slew of penalties.
Does anyone actually think Brian Urlacher would know what happened to Napoleon when he tried to invade Russia?
Ooof… Houston can even stop a freakin draw that they knew the Skins were going to run. Have fun with Brady Quinn next year. David Carr is sad.
Fox runs a commercial for the final weekend of Saturday baseball. The game Fox is advertising is the Giants vs. the Cubs or “Games With Playoff Implications”. Aww… that’s just mean. Poor poor pathetic Cubbies.
It is now clear to me that Al Saunders plays Madden and decided he wanted to go for 18 Madden tokens by having Brunell complete over 20 consecutive passes by throwing nothing but screen passes or 2 yard dump offs. Sadly, the Texans are as stupid as the AI in Madden so I (since the rest of you aren’t watching this) have to suffer through how great the streak is. MARK BRUNELL IS BACK!!!! HOP ON THE BANDWAGON NOW!!!! Football makes me ill sometimes.
With 10 minutes to go in the game at the Redskins leading 31-15, Tim Ryan proclaims that Washington needs to “figure out how to protect this lead and win the game”. Ooof. I really am unsure if that was a huge insult to the sadness that was the Skins start of the season or another testament of the idiocy of Tim Ryan.
Aww… apparently even the fools at Fox figured out how stupid it was to advertise the Giants vs. Cubs as midway through the 4th Quarter they were just pimping Games With Playoff Implications.
The Washington Redskins are a woeful team that is mauling an even more woeful team. The biggest problem facing the team is that they somehow figured out how to be a more penalized team than the New York Giants. The Skins had countless drives that sound have should have died a quick death due to a false start or a hold and they would have if they were playing anyone with the slightest idea of how to tackle. (Example: Washington’s TD drive that ended the 2nd Quarter. Not one, not two, not three, not four but FIVE penalties on the O-Line. Maybe if Jon Jansen wasn’t so busy narcing out players to the league he could learn the snap count.) And the Washington defense finds a way to commit at least one personal foul a half. Poor poor Type-A Sean Taylor
God – I could generate a better pass rush than the Skins. They are playing the sieve that is the Houston Texans and they have ONE SACK! No wonder the secondary gets burnt with regularity. They have to cover for 9 years. Thank God they signed Andre Carter. Because players who aren’t wanted by the 49ers are the way to build a defense.
For those of you scoring at home – Mario Williams has already been declared a bust. HE DOESN’T HAVE 87 SACKS!!! THE TEAM ISN’T UNDEFEATED!!! RUN HIM OUT OF TOWN ON A RAIL!!!! Grr… I hate football. Yes, the Texans should have taken Reggie Bush. But explain to me how Bush was going to turn around that team when he would have had 4 guys in his face every time he laid his hands on the ball thanks to the sad line. HE IS A SPECIAL PLAYER!!! HE CAN WALK ON WATER!!! (Well – that explains why the city of New Orleans was so eager to draft him.)
The winner of the stupidest and most costly penalty award goes to the Texans’ Thomas Johnson. (Oh okay – Charley Casserly’s legacy is getting a DL that has the same initials. Got it.) Now – Johnson already had a costly roughing the passer flag tossed against him in the second quarter as he couldn’t get his stubby little arms from shoving Brunell to the ground. But his Fourth Quarter gaff was basically a 70 yard, 2 minute rally killing penalty.
After Tim Ryan’s comment that I mocked him for a few paragraphs up, Houston almost made me look really really stupid, which I gladly would have taken to laugh at Washington some more. With 5 ½ minutes left in the game, Rock Cartwright plows up the middle on third down to try and gain the two yards that would crush the spirit of the Texans and the dozens of fans left (though there were some amazingly hot girls wearing David Carr jerseys. Sweet sweet Texas girls. And I am so so lonely. I… umm… err… hold on a minute.). Cartwright gets rocked and coughs up the ball. Shantee Orr scoops up the loose ball and rumbles 77 yards for the TD. Holy Cow – it’s 31-21 and the Texans can get within 8 if they convert the 2-point conversion. They got plenty of time and even a time out left. Oh wait – during the runback – Johnson is flagged for unnecessary roughness. Since it was during the runback, the recovery stands but the ball is brought back to the spot of the foul. Take the points of the board. And Houston needs to go 73 yards still trailing by two scores. It was never really explained what the specific penalty was for but I am sure he either punch Brunell in the face or tripped Casey Rabach. No matter what it’s inexcusable to take a penalty there. God – I am so didn’t care about this game but this pissed me off to no end.
Houston goes full throttle, gets to the 9 yard line with in 2 minutes but then Carr throws a jump ball into the end zone that is picked off and the Skins run out the clock. 1-2!!! THEY ARE SUPER BOWL BOUND!!! GREATEST TEAM IN THE NFC EAST!!!
The biggest thing I took away from this game is that the announcers at no time mentioned Dan Snyder and Tom Cruise. I am still trying to figure out how that was possible. I mean I would be stunned if Snyder didn't figure out a way to make an ad buy in the middle of a drive. Or maybe I am just deaf and I didn't hear. Rumor has it that the Redskins hate deaf people.