2005 World Series Preview – Houston Astros v. Chicago White Sox
Ed: I almost fell asleep on the toilet an hour ago
Phil: you would have been so happy for the sleep. The rest of your body would have killed you
Ed: Well, my legs fell asleep first
Ed: So I had to risk breaking my legs to get back to my desk
Ed: SWEET SWEET LOVEing old age
Phil: Did I ever tell about the time at my old job that I tripped on my phone cord and fell flat on my face?
Ed: No
Phil: Oh yeah - the phone cord was like 1000 feet long and as I was rolling around in my cube, it wrapped around my leg.
Phil: So when I stood up - it snagged
Ed: HAH
Phil: So I did the one legged hop like 5 times trying to get free
Phil: and instead - fell out of my cube into the hallway
Phil: AND I ripped the phone out of the wall
Ed: hehehehehe
Phil: what reminded me of this was that a woman in my office took a spill on a phone cord a week or two ago
Phil: Which is really amusing considering there are like 6 people I work with who have had knee surgeries in the last 2 years
Phil: So we where all joking that the # was about to go up 1
Ed: Aww
Ed: Weds. I was training our new guy how to do training
Ed: And he was sitting in my class
Ed: And fell asleep
Ed: Which was bad enough
Ed: But then he started snoring loudly which I assume was going out to to the people in training
Phil: hehehehehe
Phil: Okay - this, I am assuming, wasnt the same guy who fell asleep the last time
Ed: Same guy
Phil: HA!
Phil: He clearly doesnt want to keep his job
Ed: Yeah, he's a young guy just out of college who's trying to burn the candle at both ends
Ed: Fortunatley for him, he's also the only guy who'll do the late shift so he's safe
Phil: hehehehehe
Ed: Yeah. I am going to fall asleep
Phil: I wish I was asleep
Phil: I figure the next time Aidan wakes up, I am forcing my wife to wake up too
Ed: May as well share the pain
Phil: exactly
Ed: God I really should do a WS preview
Ed: You want to just do a brief WS preview here?
Phil: hehehehe
Phil: sure
Ed: Good
Phil: I am sure I can not think of anything funny
Ed: I am lazy
Ed: Me neither
Ed: OK. How do we want to start this?
Ed: I will just c&p everything into a Word file and send it to you
Phil: We should just talk about how great a manager Ozzie Guillen is. Just like ESPN
Phil: Oh and spend the whole focus on Houston on the old crippled guys
Ed: OK. Last year I broke it down by category...Let's see
Ed: God, I couldn't remember our URL
Phil: hehehehehehehe
Phil: You were putting in like "www.provencloser.com" werent you
Ed: Hah
Ed: I started with deathveteran and then I mangled presence
Ed: OK. I started it with an Overview of how the teams got here
Phil: Okay - the White Sox used comedic umpiring and generous scheduling to beat the Red Sox and Angels
Ed: And ran away with the Central early, beating the bejeezus out of the weak sisters of the Central then fading to the point of making Ryno cry
Phil: The Astros thankfully outlasted the BRILLIANT~! Braves and Cardinals to instantly become my favorite team
Ed: Mmmmmm
Ed: Yeah, there's a twin killing I can find no wrong with
Phil: Because you know the Astros were lucky to win because they had such a terrible closer in Brad Lidge. I mean can you believe he gave up a HR to Albert Pujols. ALBERT PUJOLS!!!!! Lidge should just retire now
Phil: Do you think that was dripping with enough sarcasm? Or do I need to add 19 winking emoticons?
Ed: Yeah, I think my Word file can handle all of that sarcasm just fine
Phil: God I really hate sports sometimes
Ed: OK. Now we move on to Starting Pitching
Ed: Sox -
Phil: I mean Geez - I guess Barry Bonds is the only person who is allowed to hit HRs without questioning the pitcher
Phil: stupid baseball
Phil: Well the simple version of the pitching is this - the White Sox are using lots of Yankee castoffs
Phil: and the Astros are using lots of Yankee castoffs
Phil: Nope - not bitter
Ed: Mmm, bitterness
Phil: Okay - The White Sox starting pitching is strange as suddenly Jose Contreras has become the savior of the franchise
Phil: which is the scariest thing I have heard of in a long long long long time
Ed: And the short & skinny of the White Sox P's is that Buerhle is a name I can't spell right, who is a crafty lefty who will be pitching when Aidan replaces you here
Phil: aww.... he was a Cy Young contender
Ed: And Jon Garland is a guy who must dream of getting the Alex Fernandez payday before he gets Alex Fernandez' fate
Phil: Aww.... he was a Cy Young contender
Ed: WINS!!!
Ed: So, the Sox rotation is Contreras, Buerhle, Garland and...
Phil: Freddy Garcia
Ed: HAH!
Phil: Remember Freddy Garcia
Ed: I forgot already
Ed: I am certain Freddy Garcia forgets about Freddy Garcia some mornings
Ed: LUSH!!!
Phil: aww.... I am sure he does that to forget that he plays in Chicago too.
Phil: I wonder if Mariotti harasses the White Sox as much
Ed: Ahh, but he is probably in love with Ozzie too
Ed: So yeah, the Sox brought the pitching in the playoffs
Phil: Well - the starting pitching at least
Ed: Right
Phil: Since Ozzie clearly hates his bullpen
Phil: 4 STRAIGHT COMPLETE GAMES!!!!!
Ed: If Ozzie only knew Dustin Hermanson struck me out in hs ball
Phil: Well you are probably as useful with a bat now as Jeff Bagwell is
Ed: Oh man, Bagwell has a reason to kill you now
Ed: So yeah, the Sox starters are a definite plus
Ed: The Astros starters - Clemens, Pettitte, Oswalt and...Brandon Backe
Phil: So basically the White Sox have the advantage in Game 4
Ed: Oh yeah
Phil: Since I clearly dont think they do in Games 1,2 or 3
Ed: I would say, they would in game 3 given how Pettitte looked shaky in the NLCS but...
Ed: ANDY PETTITTE PROVEN BIG GAME WINNER!!!
Ed: PICK OFF FOR JESUS!
Phil: aww.....
Phil: Still - its not like Andy crapped the bed as bad as any # of other pitchers this offseason
Ed: True
Ed: I should now probably take the time to state yet again that I have a man crush on Roy Oswalt
Phil: hehehehehe
Ed: Even if I wouldn't bet on his arm holding up
Ed: Just wait till we get to Lance Berkman
Phil: Oh yeah
Ed: OK. So edge White Sox then?
Phil: Wait - in Starting Pitching?
Ed: Yeah
Phil: Oh no - I dont care what he has done so far. I refuse to give any team with Jose Contreras as the anchor the edge
Ed: hehehehe
Phil: Plus Jon Garland has pitched a grand total of once, in what.... 2 weeks?
Ed: Which is more than the entire White Sox bull pen
Ed: But the Astros bring the weakest link in Backe
Phil: I mean - unless the Astros put on Devil Rays uniforms. Then I give the edge to Jose
Ed: ?
Ed: OK. So you call it a push?
Phil: Oh Jose - used to always dominated the D-Rays
Phil: and then get smoked by like the Red Sox
Phil: Push is fine
Ed: Who didn't dominate teh D-Rays?
Phil: Yikes - maybe Pettitte did crap the bed
Phil: Backe has actually been better than him this offseason
Phil: Which is sad
Ed: I will give a slight edge to the ChiSox just because they don't trot out Backe
Ed: OK. Onto the Pens
Ed: Advantage Stros just for having Lidge
Phil: Well if we are basing it mostly on this offseason then yes - I sadly give it to Chciago (for starting pitching)
Ed: Tho, Hermanson did strike me out in HS proving that he is a big game competitor
Phil: The Stros get it for Lidge and Dan Wheeler
Phil: who I am getting a big man crush on
Ed: Qualls too
Phil: And the fact that again the White Sox havent used their pen in like 10 days
Phil: Plus Ozzie hates Marte
Ed: The Sox are using Duque in the pen
Phil: Well again thats because Ozzie hates Marte
Phil: and Hermanson fell off a cliff
Phil: hence why Jenks is the closer now
Ed: Aww, Jenks is crazy
Ed: I want to see a Jenks explosion just to see how far he will snap
Phil: I enjoy that right now Marte's era in this playoffs is infinity
Ed: His era is infinity?
Ed: That's poetic. Kinda
Phil: I have to double check
Ed: he is like bullpen Jesus
Phil: At first I thought he might not have gotten anyone out - but I think he did complete and inning
Phil: oh - and he didn't have any runs charged to him
Phil: I got giddy when I saw all that Marte did was give up a hit and walk 2
Ed: And if he's used, he'll be facing Berkman
Ed: But Ozzie will probably will probably go with Cotts instead
Phil: Aww... you think Ozzie is going to go to the bullpen at all
Ed: Well, not if he doesn't have to of course
Phil: I could see like Mark B. at 150 pitches and Ozzie just shouting "THINK OF JACK MORRIS!!! YOU JACK MORRIS!!!"
Ed: And it's not like the Stros have a great offense
Ed: You Jack Morris will be my mantra to get Tim McCarver's voice out of my head all thru the WS now
Ed: OK. So I give the edge to Stros in a big way for the pen
Phil: Of course - in my mind its being said by with an Asian accent
Phil: Which makes it even goofier
Ed: hehehehe
Ed: Maybe you're think Iguchi is going to say that or something
Ed: YOU JACK MORRIS!!!
Phil: God - if I was going to create a bullpen. I think it would by BJ Ryan and at least Lidge and Wheeler
Phil: Man - I really do like far more Astros than I realized
Ed: God, I would hope there would not be someone name Morris sitting in the first two rows of any of those games
Ed: OK. You take the Stros in the pen too then, right?
Phil: Well I am sure if Jack Morris was there he would just yell at any starting pitcher who was taken out "YOU HAVE A VAGINA!!!!"
Phil: Oh yeah
Ed: Aww, you want to see Morris and Clemens have a throw down don't you?
Ed: OK. We move onto the offenses
Phil: I more am hoping for Tom Kelly references
Phil: Of course - a bitter Jack Morris rant about he isnt in the Hall of Fame would be great
Phil: Especially because I am certain McCarver and Buck would lap doggenly agree
Phil: and then Bert Blyleven would storm the booth
Ed: Crap! Beat me to it
Phil: Oh yeah - I am happy now
Phil: I got in my Blyleven should be in the Hall of Fame reference
Phil: I could punt the rest of this
Ed: I would go off on how Tommy John would beat them both down with some sort of medical book, but I am not coherent enough to make that joke
Ed: OK. OFFENSES!!!
Ed: BERKMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ed: Man crush!
Phil: hehehehehe
Phil: aww.... he is no Albert Pujols... or David Ortiz
Phil: God I hate ESPN
Phil: I swear to God - they will cram Ortiz into any article they can
Ed: Sometimes I find myself dreaming of Adam Dunn and Lance Berkman fondling their bats and...
Ed: And I am scared of what that means
Phil: hehehehe
Phil: it means that they were probably all mean to Sean Casey
Ed: Let's not make my stomach any worse
Phil: Then you probably shouldnt talk about Paul Konerko either
Ed: So yeah, I love me some Lance Berkman
Ed: Mmm, fantasy bitterness
Ed: Sadly, I really liked Konerko before he destroyed my fantasy team last year
Phil: BTW - Morgan Ensberg finally stopped getting his chain jerked and.... hey, guess what... he's really good too
Phil: I have no ill will towards Konerko since the year before he destroyed your team - he helped me win money
Phil: I just dont think there is anyone else on the Sox that I like
Phil: At least not off the top of my head
Ed: That's the best you can say for Garner as a manager, he left Ensberg alone
Phil: As where the Stros have Berkman, Ensberg, Lane
Ed: Burke
Ed: You have to like Vizcaino
Phil: I have to do nothing of the sorts
Phil: Alvaro Espinoza wannabe
Ed: Aww, poor WS hero
Phil: Okay - we are both idiots
Phil: Clearly the WHite Sox are winning
Phil: Becuase they have Scott Podsednik
Ed: Because Carl Everett doesn't believe in dinosaurs?
Phil: aww... hating gays gets no bonus points from me
Phil: STEALS~!
Ed: SCRAP!
Ed: I like how over at Primer some were trying to validate the Podscrapnik-Lee trade
Ed: That made me happy
Ed: Kenny is not an idiot!
Phil: Oh and Chicago has AJ!!!!!! Who - since there are no more Molinas - Fox has gloamed on to
Ed: Well, it's either that or a knee to the jimmy
Phil: Well Cliff Lee is certainly not complaining
Phil: sweet sweet giant extension
Ed: What does Cliff Lee have to do with Carlos Lee?
Phil: Nothing except that clearly I am a fool
Ed: hehehe
Phil: I am sure Cliff Lee isnt complaining either though
Ed: Well no
Phil: at least not about that trade
Ed: He gets to face PodSCRAPnik instead of Carlos Lee
Phil: Of course - if Cliff Lee is still in Cleveland, he has something to complain about right there
Ed: You mean, not getting any of the buffet because of CC? Or just being in Cleveland in general?
Phil: the later
Ed: God, both teams are not afraid to give up some outs with their line-ups are they?
Phil: I take some great amusement in ESPN trying to promote the "FRANK WHITE FINALLY MADE THE WORLD SERIES!!!!" angle
Phil: which is really really funny
Ed: Frank White made plenty of WS
Phil: HA!
Phil: I cant believe I wrote Frank White
Phil: Frank Thomas
Ed: HAH!!!
Phil: Geez - why the heck did I think of Frank White?
Phil: I mean Roy White is better than Jim Rice
Ed: Umm...because of their...glove work?
Phil: but that doesnt explain why I thought of Frank White
Phil: oh yeah - I hitting all my high spots now
Phil: in round about ways but I am happy
Phil: oh yeah - finding out that Bobby Jenks is the fattest guy to play in the WS since Frank Howard just made my morning
Phil: Oh yeah - the boy is awake and attacking the mouse - this is going to get ugly
Ed: WHAT? Are they basing that off of Wells' listed weight or something?
Phil: I guess
Phil: From Stark's blathering column about how great the series is since the Yanks and Red Sox arent in it
Phil: Bobby Jenks (all 270 pounds of him) is, well, massive. (In fact, he's about to break Frank Howard's all-time record for heaviest man ever to appear in a World Series.)
Ed: God, and yet you still confused Frank Thomas with Frank White
Ed: Are we even talking about the offenses anymore?
Phil: I really need to write my drooling Frank Howard FPOTM
Phil: Well is there anything else to really say about the offenses?
Phil: They have a lot of guys who can bunt
Ed: I just now remembered that Jermaine Dye is the White Sox RF
Ed: Which brings to mind how uncomfortable spring training must have been for him when he met up with Duque
Phil: hehehehehe
Phil: well and them trying to have a conversation that they could understand
Ed: Hi! You brioke my leg!
Ed: Que?
Phil: I am also assuming you actually know Adam Everett's name now
Ed: hehehehe
Phil: and as much as we mock - Biggio is hitting this offseason
Phil: Not that I ever had any real hatred toward Biggio
Ed: No hatred towards him or Bagwell other than that clique deal they have in Houston
Phil: You mean Pettitte's cult?
Ed: Aww, no they aren't glassy-eyed
Phil: Geez - someone really should hip Everett to the fact that this is the postseason and that he really might want to put the bat on the ball
Ed: Which Everett?
Phil: Adam
Ed: OK. I thought you meant Carl
Phil: hehehehe
Phil: we should have left it vague
Ed: Which amused me since Ryno's WS preview said that the ChiSox would miss his bat in the NL park games
Ed: I was like, don't they miss his bat in the AL park games too?
Phil: Oh man - we both suck when we make it this far without mocking Brad Ausmus
Ed: I was heading there when I started in with the bit about the Biggio-Bagwell clique
Phil: hehehehe
Phil: Okay - I have to run to the bathroom
Phil: so vamp or something
Ed: Vamp, actually do work. Either way.
Ed: Yeah, Ausmus...he's really not...really...ya know....good
Ed: Of course, only Mitch Melusky and us notice that or something
Ed: Oh! That's right! GLOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Phil: BTW - if Ausmus had stayed with the Yanks I would probably love him like Joe Girardi
Phil: and Butch Wynegar
Phil: and Ron Hassey
Phil: and Mike Stanley
Ed: And John Flaherty?
Phil: I suck
Phil: And John Flaherty
Phil: of course - Flaherty is a local guy too.
Ed: Hey, Chris Widger was there too
Phil: Also - Ausmus with a ring is a far more appealing thing than AJ lotsofletters
Ed: Well, but the thing about that is
Ed: Ausmus will be a manager some day
Ed: And he'll be taking over like, Kansas City or something
Phil: Aww... you mean like Girardi
Ed: Exactly
Ed: No hitting catchers always become managers
Phil: aww....
Ed: And all you'll hear about is how Ausmus was a WINNER!!!
Phil: Honestly - Ausmus will be far less annoying to me as a catcher than lots of current people
Ed: But on the other side, AJ Psdhfusdhfjkopfi will become a color guy and replace say, Sutcliffe and that's all you will hear about too
Ed: So, really, we all lose
Ed: So who do we give the edge to offensively?
Ed: I'm thinking it has to be the Stros based mainly on my Berkman mancrush
Phil: Oh - I should probably say this again
Phil: Boy, Houston is really really stupid for not breaking the bank to resign Carlos Beltran. Geez - how foolish
Ed: hehehehe
Ed: Break the bank, break his face. Mike Cameron got confused
Ed: OK. So you give the edge to the Stros on offense too?
Phil: sorry - had to feed my son
Phil: Yes - Stros with the better offense
Ed: OK
Ed: So next I went on to defense
Ed: Let's see, for the Stros the infield is Ensberg and Everrett on the left side - that a plus
Ed: On the right side it's...Berkman and Biggio. Eww
Phil: well its not like having Bagwell at first is going to make it better
Phil: And again - I will give Garner credit for this. He will take Biggio out in the late innings
Phil: instead of stupid TRUST!
Ed: Aww
Ed: Biggio has become Chuck Knoblauch
Phil: Well I dont think Biggio is stupid
Ed: Aww, if only i cared about what this guy is comoplaining about
Phil: at first I thought you were talking about our site
Phil: then I realized you meant work
Ed: Either way
Ed: Yeah. I really quit listening to that guy about 2 minutes in
Phil: aww.... thats exactly how I am going to treat the WS
Ed: So, oh yeah...I forgot what we were doing
Ed: Yeah, the White Sox have the edge defensively because of IGUCHI!!!
Phil: because his Asian?
Ed: JAPANESE PLAYERS DO NO WORNG DEFENSIVELY!!!
Phil: he is too
Ed: WRONG either
Phil: Aww... I was right too
Ed: Worn may be a cousin
Phil: god I really should eat lunch
Ed: God I really should go home
Ed: So uh...god, why did I even mess with defense last year?
Phil: I was wondering the same thing
Ed: Oh yeah, because it was the only thing I could give the Cards the edge to
Phil: Because no matter what you say - someone will do something stupid
Phil: Aww.... you hated the Red Sox infield
Phil: you are just another Mark Bellhorn hater
Ed: Poor li'l even year stud
Ed: I also compared Bench's
Ed: BILL!!!
Phil: hehehehehe
Phil: oh yeah - he is either drunk or hasnt slept in 36 hours
Ed: Either way he can bail out this preview
Phil: hehehehe
Bill: yeah - ed beat me to it
Ed: Aww
Bill: so basically - i was sick the entire trip
Bill: and now i am back
Bill: my back is killing me
Bill: i can't hear out of my left ear
Bill: and today the power company is working on my building which means i can lose power at any time
Phil: aww... Ed and I just have upset stomach's
Ed: I was going to make a pasty pool boy joke for the WS preview but now you are here
Phil: well - actually I technically had food poisioning
Phil: but I think I am over it
Ed: I just have bitterness
Ed: Phil and I have half-assed a start to the WS preview
Bill: well - i need a couple of minutes to wake up
Ed: Oh yeah, Bill. The highlight of our Preview so far is Phil confusing Frank Thomas with Frank White
Ed: That and You Jack Morris!
Bill: you jack morris?
Phil: You will understand when you see the whole WS Preview
Ed: Phil: I could see like Mark B. at 150 pitches and Ozzie just shouting "THINK OF JACK MORRIS!!! YOU JACK MORRIS!!!"
Ed: Ed: You Jack Morris will be my mantra to get Tim McCarver's voice out of my head all thru the WS now
Ed: Phil: Of course - in my mind its being said by with an Asian accent
Bill: jooge approves
Ed: Poor poor Jooge
Bill: ok - let me get my contacts in and i will be ready to go
Ed: Sadly, those are our only highlights so far
Ed: AWESOME!!!
Ed: My shirt is buttoned crooked and my t-shirt's on backwards!
Ed: But I am wearing two like socks
Phil: hehehe - every time you work on the weekend you cant dress yourself
Ed: This is a much better Sat. than last
Ed: I am just happy I left the house with pants on
Phil: hehehehe
Phil: I think we can safely mail in defense
Bill: ok - let's go
Ed: OK
Ed: Do we just wanna scrap what we did already Phil?
Ed: We can still reference Frank White and You Jack Morris of coruse
Bill: nah
Bill: just keep it
Phil: Yeah - mainly because I would just the same things
Phil: and I really wanna get food soon
Phil: plus my wife will yell at me to get food soon
Phil: stupid her sleeping till 11
Ed: OK. So we started off with the starting staff
Ed: And I gave a slight edge to Chicago since they don't trot out Backe and Pettitte
Ed: Phil called it a push
Bill: well pettite has had a good year
Phil: against my will
Bill: especially in vitamin C park
Ed: But Pettitte was not too good in the NLCS
Phil: Since I said that any staff anchored by Contreras cant be the favorite
Phil: and neither has Backe
Ed: But then, the Sox don't have Pujols either
Bill: exactly phil
Bill: i mean
Bill: i know jose contreras is the new greatest pitcher ever
Ed: Oh yeah, and I also forgot Freddy Garcia
Phil: Oh yeah
Phil: The drunk Freddy Garcia jokes made me happy too
Ed: Aww, those were too easy
Phil: Ed and I are in love with the Stros bullpen and I made my sarcastic sarcastic Brad Lidge comment and moved on
Ed: So whaddya say about the starters Bill?
Bill: i say the astros have the two best starters in the series, so advantage stros
Phil: Jesus approves
Ed: Oh yeah, and I drooled over Oswalt. Forgot that
Ed: And yeah, we both were all over the Stros pen
Ed: Which means Brad Lidge is cursing us right now
Phil: Actually the highlight for me so far was Ed forgetting our URL
Bill: hmmm
Bill: well i do like me some brad lidge - at least till the end of this year
Bill: but the houston relief is very weak on the left side
Bill: where they'll have to worry about getting scott podsed...HAHAHA
Bill: oh - sorry
Phil: WE also found out that Bobby Jenks is the fattest person to play in the WS
Phil: at least according to Stark
Phil: and I have developed a man crush on Dan Wheeler too
Bill: if the white sox had anyone remotely lefty i would give them the advantage but since it's all righties, i think it's a push
Bill: besides, the hitters suck so much in this series, it doesn't matter what the bullpen does
Phil: aww... we since Ed and I are drooling in love, I think it stays advantage Stros
Phil: but we could knock it down to slight
Phil: because we also factored in that the Sox's pen has been used in like 10 days
Ed: yeah, I like Qualls, Wheeler and Lidge more than anything the Sox would pull out
Phil: Aww... the Portsmouth game will make me sad
Phil: And on another side - Bill make sure you read the freak soccer injury story article on soccernet
Ed: Is this where we compare the coolness factor of bands from each city?
Ed: I can't think of a Houston band unfortunately
Bill: aww - pride of howard university
Bill: i think chicago wins that by default then
Ed: So Whitney Houston v. Chicago?
Ed: In which case, you'd have to take a tweaking Whitney
Bill: does bobby brown come along as part of the deal?
Ed: Has to
Phil: awww.... the Geto Boys are from Houston
Phil: I think
Ed: Phil is down
Bill: let's just listen to what the bbc says
Bill: But the series is too close to call, with the odds-makers generally favouring Chicago but only just.Consensus has it that the White Sox boast a slightly stronger batting line-up behind the powerful Paul Konerko.
Phil: for the Astros, Whitney Houston or the Geto Boys?
Bill: And Houston are preferred in pitching, with Roger Clemens continuing to defy his 43 years and closer Brad Lidge building up a formidable reputation.
Ed: Aww, Lance Berkman gets no Limey love
Bill: hehehe - and wigan is the greatest team alive
Bill: ok - back to baseball
Phil: Oh yeah - I just saw that too
Bill: um - i would go with the geto boys if they are actually from houston
Phil: Its like one of us is running WIgan
Phil: Well this one thing from MTV seems to imply they are
Ed: Oof. So where are we?
Phil: DJ Screw was from Houston too
Phil: A whole lotta hip-hop came from Houston
Phil: so that wins they scare the white boys in Chicago
Phil: so they win
Ed: OK
Bill: well i mean - i don't care enough to argue with that
Phil: oh yeah
Phil: the music angle is so beyond me
Phil: so if you guys are going to do it - I am going to get lunch
Bill: god lunch sounds good
Phil: well I am going to have to go soon anyway since my wife is getting antsy
Bill: ok - you go get food
Phil: So I figure its time for the managers
Phil: and coaches
Phil: or something
Bill: me and ed will discuss the side topics
Phil: Well I still need to get dressed to go out in public
Bill: and you come back and we'll finish the baseball
Phil: so I can at least do the managers
Bill: clearly that is not a problem for ed
Phil: of course - I think Ed is actually helping someone
Phil: hehehehe
Phil: the freak injury story - http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=346509&cc=5901
Bill: i saw it - i said the howard university joke
Bill: i am also giddy about george burley quitting hearts
Phil: oh thats right - I forgot the Hislop joke
Phil: hehehehe
Bill: oh yeah - not being able to hear out of my left ear is getting old quick
Ed: God I loathe people
Phil: do you know what happened? or did it just pop on the flight?
Bill: it popped on the flight each time
Bill: and i've been sick so for some reason my right side unpops - the left does no
Phil: that happens to me when I fly too - usually its my left ear
Phil: but its not fun
Bill: oh no
Bill: it is very sad
Bill: and then somehow i managed to hurt my back last night trying to pop it
Phil: HA!
Phil: However, the talking point of the day was Arsenal midfielder Robert Pires' arrogant attempt to pass a second-half penalty to captain and club record goalscorer Thierry Henry
Phil: which backfired spectacularly when he fluffed the attempt and referee Alan Riley overturned the award.
Bill: huh?
Ed: SWEET SWEET LOVEing morons
Phil: I guess Pires whiffed on his goofy pass
Phil: the full match story isnt up yet so I am not sure what happened
Bill: aww
Bill: ok - this is also wonderful
Bill: Another week, another allegation of rape against a prominent Premiership football, yet Arsenal goalkeeper Graham Stack is living proof that it may be possible to emerge from such an ordeal with an unblemished character.
Phil: aww....
Phil: Aww.... Ed got a call from a guy who didnt know how to turn on his computer
Phil: Okay - I am going to get food
Phil: Hey! Dario Silva gave Portsmouth the lead
Bill: because he is...yep
Phil: UNSELFISH~!
Bill: ok - me and ed will discuss the non-baseball aspects until you get back - if ed gets back
Phil: hehehehehe
Ed: No. This moron didn't understand the concept of the Insert button
Ed: She was typing over her entire email and didn't believe the Insert button had anything to do with it
Bill: OVERWRITE IS A MYTH MIDWESTERN MAN!!!
Ed: Yeah, that was what she was thinking
Ed: She was like, I've never heard of and Insert button
Ed: I said it was special just to her keyboard
Bill: i'm not sure how to direct her to it
Ed: Well, it's right near the Backspace
Ed: Then I had to go thru the pain of walking her through pressing the button'
Bill: awww
Ed: God is cruel
Ed: OK. So what is happening?
Bill: i have no clue
Ed: Nice of them to shut the heat off
Bill: aww - the midwest is cold
Bill: so what do we have to discuss between houston and chicago as cities outside of baseball?
Bill: food?
Ed: Uhh...
Bill: people eat food in those places, right?
Ed: SWEET SWEET LOVEERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bill: ?
Ed: People
Ed: All of them
Ed: All of them who call me
Bill: you need to start giving out the wrong number
Ed: To that guy in Jersey who swears at people?
Bill: oh yeha
Bill: that will be harder with the different area codes but give it a shot
Ed: It would be worth the effort
Ed: Is Houston known for anything food-wise?
Bill: barbeque?
Ed: That or Tex-mex
Bill has left the room.
Phil: Oh God - I am so going to regret eating lunch
Bill has entered the room.
Phil: Yup - so definitely regretting each lunch
Ed: Aww
Phil: aww... poor little Steve McNair
Ed: Really, for me the whole thing that's still in the air about the WS is how much will I watch. And I'm guessing very little
Bill: ?
Bill: oh - i have no desire to watch a second of the world series
Bill: but then again - it could have been any two teams and i wouldn't have had a desire to watch a second
Bill: except maybe THE BREWERS!!!!
Ed: Mmm, Brewers
Phil: aww... you have so turned your back on the As
Bill: let alone the red sox
Phil: I am guessing I will watch tomorrow night for a little just because there is no football game
Phil: and that will be the only game I watch
Bill: aww - maybe mike patrick and joe theismann will do commentary on the game
Ed: I will watch tonight - for however long I stay awake
Ed: So likely, I will not get past the pregame
Phil: I am sure that Paul McGwire will disagree with everything that is said
Phil: well I thankfully wont be home tonight
Phil: so I wont even be tempted
Phil: God - why am I reading this Boswell column
Ed: Aww, you don't want to watch Roger Clemens
Phil: Heck - all I really care about the WS is again looking at the coaches and feeling old
Phil: and Leyland hiring Chuck Hernandez as pitching coach is soooo a disappointment
Ed: Oh yeah, did you show Bill that link about BA's junior player of the year?
Bill: aww - he is younger than me isn't he
Ed: You know, the 15 year old
Bill: dick
Ed: hehehehe
Ed: Share the pain
Phil: I never showed it to him
Phil: I dont even remember where I got it from
Bill: what else do we have to talk about for this thing?
Phil: I just remember being sad
Phil: managers I guess
Phil: and then any other random things
Phil: so it should take too long
Phil: Unless Ed did any other goofy things last year
Phil: Of course - we could talk about the ballparks so I could roll out all the Primer excuses as to why the Cards lost
Ed: Oh yeah, that bit made my entire week
Bill: well i mean
Bill: with being on the national stage
Bill: ozzie and garner are both gonna be dedicated to getting themselves way, way over
Bill: which means lots of sacrifices to show how smart they are
Bill: garner has actually used lidge in the earlier innings which is good but i have the feeling lidge is hurt
Bill: or very tired
Ed: Lots of steals, lots of pitchouts. Lots of McCarver O faces
Bill: i mean, neither of them are going to score anyway
Bill: it all really comes down to the starting pitching
Bill: so i say it's a push
Ed: So with that being equal
Phil: sorry - went to the bathroom
Ed: And the starters being pretty equal - advantage Stros likely
Ed: And the Stros having the better pen AND offense
Bill: um ed
Bill: the bbc said the white sox have the better offense
Bill: and while i wasn't around for that i am inclined to agree because the top of their lineup gets on base more
Bill: especially when garner bats WILLY TAVERAS!!! second
Phil: I enjoy the Wash Post saying teh best bat Chicago on the bench is Ozzie
Ed: They obviously did not have Konerko kill one of there fantasy teams
Bill: prospectus said the best bat on the chicago bench was tim raines
Ed: hehehehe
Ed: Mmm, Tim Raines
Ed: I dunno about the ChiSox offense
Phil: Well personally I think Berkman and Ensberg trump everything that Chicago has
Bill: well the thing is - as awful as podsednik as a starting outfielder
Phil: but I am biased
Bill: he does get on base. and iguchi gets on base too
Bill: the houston lineup has two guys with a .325 OBP at the top of it
Ed: Well, that' the thing
Phil: you just like steals
Bill: i do
Bill: and phil - you know garner is going to bench ensberg one of the games so he can play his guy feeling and start mike lamb
Ed: The Stros top two are better than anything the Sox have
Bill: or bagwell
Phil: Oh Bagwell is going to be the DH
Bill: in houston though
Phil: and Ed should tell you about the Everett thing
Ed: But the Sox don't have Adam Everrett and Ausmus and Taveras
Phil: Carl not adam yhing
Phil: thing
Bill: huh?
Ed: That he doesn't believe in Joe Jackson because he's never seen him?
Phil: as adam yhing is the worst Aisan name this side of doug o'brien
Ed: hehehehe
Bill: did you drink your lunch, phil?
Phil: im feeding aidan
Bill: oh boy - that was an uncomfortable image
Phil: awww - portsmouth sucks
Bill: they are unselfish though
Phil: they are also no longer winning
Phil: God the yanks cant ever have an original thought
Bill: ?
Phil: "Okay so Mazzone turned us down> Hmmm... who should we hire? Hey the White Sox are in the WS. Lets get their pitching coach"
Ed: Aww
Bill: you know bruce chen is crying somewhere now, too
Phil: Of coursse - they will end up hiring Ron Guidry and I will take back every mean thing
Phil: GATOR~!
Bill: gatorwolf?
Phil: damn you and your youth
Bill: am i really that young if i just brought up freaking steve gatorwolf
Phil: One of Ron Guidry's nicknames was Gator
Phil: You like your really old fecal matterty wrestling
Bill: and think - if they hire guidry you can make all kinds of inappropriate katrina jokes
Phil: like I need that excuse
Phil: aww... poor Dez White
Ed: God, how are we going to make this into a preview?
Bill: not it
Phil: like we always do with these things
Phil: just post the entire logs
Phil: with the fluff deleted out
Ed: Aww, I am looking at our log asn I want to include the bit about you tripping over your phone cord
Phil: thats fine
Phil: though we need to leave in the part about the guying falling asleep and you not knowing how to answer the phone
Bill: did you guys even talk about baseball before i woke up
Phil: yeah - that was the beginning of te conversation
Phil: when Ed was hating his job
Bill: why are you working saturday for anyway?
Phil: I was trying to convince Ed that they will force him to work next Sunday when the clocks are changed and suck 25 hours out of him
Bill: aww - jesse ventura accusing schiavone of beating his kids is funny
Bill: oh yeah
Bill: i am just giddy that i am getting like 15 hours overtime for this week
Ed: Oh yeah, and the Cliff Carlos Lee confusion
Phil: Oh yeah - I forgot about that
Phil: and that happened before the Frank confusion
Phil: Yeah - I am going to have to start getting ready soon
Bill: ?
Phil: we are going over a friends house later
Phil: But the boy needs a bath and I still need to shower
Bill: aww - aidan is going to pee on their floor
Phil: so eventually I will need to start the process
Bill: do we want to end this then
Phil: well is there anything else to talk about
Phil: ?
Bill: we should probably make our prediction
Phil: Since no one cares about the Series - its definitely going 7
Ed: OK. There's the file
Ed: We can weed stuff out if you want
Bill: or we are done then
Phil: hehehehehe
Ed: I thought so
Ed: Did we even predict a winner?
Phil: not that I know of
Phil: well its not that hard to c&p it in
Ed: Nice
Bill: i am going to say white sox in six
Phil: Oh yeah - Portsmouth definitely stink
Ed: NO PREDICTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bill: ok then i will say our lives will all be worse for it
Ed: That way both sides can jump on us for making predictions
Bill: since that is not prediction, but instead fact
Ed: Aww, crap
Ed: I almost poked my eye out
Phil: aww....
Phil: you really shouldnt be allowed to work on Saturdays
Bill: that is why you need to wear glasses
Phil: so he can shatter glass into his eye?
Bill: it works for stuart scott
Phil: Well Ed is about as unhip as stuart scott is
Ed: Aww
Bill: about as street, certainly
Ed: Ohio represent! BOO-YA!
Ed: Yep. Just as street
Ed: God, 3 more hours
Bill: ok. i have nothing more to say about this thing
Phil: I dont think Stuart Scott would be welcomed in Ohio
Bill: i am giddy i was able to sleep till 11 today after having to
wake up at 5 each day for the last three
Ed: F*cker
Phil: I hate you
Bill: you all didn't work from 5:30 till 7 pm the last couple of days
Ed: I hope I left in there about my shirt being buttoned crooked and my tshirt
on backwards
Ed: Oh yeah. There might have been a f*ck or two in the preview
Bill: ed knows the kids like the cris cross style
Phil: well I can just add it in
Ed: I didn't check for swear words
Phil: JUMP! JUMP!
Ed: Aww, even I get that
Phil: hehehehe
Ed: You are old Bill
Ed: Your young sh*t don't work anymore
Bill: and you guys are even older
Bill: but
Bill: that's all i've got
Ed: I am old enougg to gladly welcome death
Ed: ENOUGG!!!
Bill: ed is now a congested pirate
Ed: hehehe
Phil: aww....
Phil: hey - thanks for waiting for the last moment to make your changes
Phil: Stupid Pompey
Bill: hehe
Ed: Oh yeah. there are clearly some swear words we'll need to kill from the
preview
Bill: they thought they pressed the portsmouth tactics button but they did not
Phil: y'all realize that this most likely isnt coming out today
Bill: god no
Phil: partly due to time and partly due to laziness
Phil: Possibly
Phil: We will see how the afternoon goes
Phil: but I do want a nap
Ed: OK. I just took the f*cks and sh*ts out of mine
Phil: the seriously waited for the final 4 minutes to make all three of their
changes
Phil: despite being down a goal for the last 15
Bill: that seems about right
Bill: ok - my lunch is here
Bill: i am not typing for a while
Phil: okay - let me save this just in case
Phil: and then I am going to start getting ready
Phil: aww..
Phil: poor little dive