ED: Ed
Agner: PR: Phil Rippa: JS: Justin Slotman: BB: Bill Barnwell: MM: Marc Manning ED:
Poor poor Marc.
PR: I really should demand that you
and Marc do a recap of the Raiders/Cardinals game.
BB: This would be like play-by-play
and color of an AA meeting. I don't know if that's really appropriate
for…anything.
MLB ED: WORLD SERIES!!! The
Cards win the NLCS and will face the Tigers. HOOOOOO BOY!!!
There’s gonna be some managing going on there. Of course, Lord
knows by the time this gets posted the Tigers will be your World Series
champs.
Ed: HAH Ed: Bob Seger, Anita Baker booked
for World Series games in Detroit Phil: oh yeah - it makes you feel a
little sorry for Detroit Ed: hehehehehehe Ed: well, I will be all confused Ed: I will be like - WHY IS BILL
JAMES SINGING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM???? Ed: HAH Ed: “Tigers greats Al Kaline and
Willie Horton, accompanied by club owner Mike Ilitch, will throw out
the ceremonial first pitch.” Ed: Willie Horton???? Phil: I so wanna make the Willie
Horton joke Ed: heheheheheh Phil: like WATCH OUT MICHAEL
DUKAKIS!!!! Ed: hehehehehehe Phil: of course - I also realize
that three people who read our site would understand it Ed: IT'S ALL THE FAULT OF THOSE DAMN
DEMOCRATS!!! Ed: wait, 3 people read our site? Phil: well - me, you Phil: and then I figure either
Slotman, Dean or pieman Ed: and Simmons Phil: Simmons doesnt read us Ed: of course, he only reads Bill's
stuff Phil: just FO
PR: Ed didn’t put in the part where
I previewed what every game would sound like.
McCarver: The winner of tonight’s
game will be the winner of tonight’s game. Buck: I am here calling this game
because the World Series can only be called by me, Joe Buck. And don’t
forgot that Fox also has NFL games, with a pregame show hosted by me,
Joe Buck, and games that are called by me Joe Buck. McCarver: Joe, the most crucial
thing to understand about tonight’s game is that the team that scores
the most runs will win. Just like how the Tigers scored more runs than
the A’s four times. Buck: Thank Tim. I am going to
repeat exactly what you just said because if you have never watched a
baseball game before you won’t understand that Tim just said that the
team who scores the most runs wins. Just like how the Tigers scored
more runs than the A’s four times. McCarver: You know Joe. I PLAYED IN
THE 68 WORLD SERIES!! I CAUGHT BOB GIBSON!!!! 17 STRIKEOUTS IN GAME
1!!! BOW DOWN BEFORE ZOD!!!!! Buck: Hey look – Wentworth Miller
from Prison Break is at the game.
ED: In my defense, I also
didn’t put in the part about all the double-switches ripping a hole in
the space-time continuum causing cyborg Ty Cobb to emerge.
PR: The baseball team that is
created from the back reaches of Ed’s mind are my favorite thing. Ty
Ciobb. Biff Pecota.
BB: See - we could've put that
content on a 2006_world_series.html page and called it a separate item,
or we could just throw it in here. We used to have chat logs on
separate pages too you know. Now they are just the entire WTW. We used
to have fans. Now we just have writers.
ED: We never ever ever had
fans, Bill. Never. Ever.
JS: I’m a writer-fan!
PR: OH! And yes the Game 2 matchup
of Jeff Weaver vs. Kenny Rogers – especially with the performances they
have spun this offseason – clearly proves that God does not like that I
am a Yankees fan.
BB: Or an A's fan for a few moments.
ED: And Rogers going with the
pine tar on his hand just added to Phil’s trauma.
OHHHH!!!! And Tigers PVC!!! Todd Jones hates Cardinals P
Jeff Weaver. Apparently, Jones confused Weaver’s love of the
sweet leaf with a love for butt sex. It’s easy to do, I bet.
MM: John Kruk's head exploded live
on TV ranting about The Gamblin' Man's wiping
problem...errrrrrrrrrrrrr, use of pine tar. Fox had clear footage of
the same colored substance on the same spot in each playoff series. Are
you watching, Russ Ortiz? Paying attention, Livan Hernandez?
Iodine-collered hand stains in the NLCS can be the end of your career
path, Jamie Moyer!
ED: MANAGERIAL MOVES!!!
The A’s can Manager Ken Macha – for good this time? The Cubs hire
Lou Piniella as their new manager.
BB: Ken Macha is angry that Mark
Kotsay doesn't have his back. Billy Beane is talking about Ken Macha
like he's the crazy ex-girlfriend the A's want nothing to do with
anymore. "The A's have moved on," Beane told the Chronicle.
"Unfortunately, Ken's memories of some things and the A's memories of
some things are a little different, and the most important thing is
that we've gone our way and he's gone his way."
MM: I think Macha's memories were of
him having anything to do with A's winning and Beane's memories were
book deals on the table because FRANK THOMAS, STROKE OF GENIUS!
ED: COACHING MOVES!!!
The Red Sox hire John Farrell as pitching coach and Dave Magadan as
hitting coach. The Mariners hire John McLaren as bench
coach. The Phillies hire Art Howe as 3B coach, Davey Lopes as 1B
coach and Jimy Williams as bench coach.
BB: Thank god Dave Magadan has a job
again. Wait - is Jeremy Giambi technically still Phillies property???
GREATEST COMBINATION EVER. Well, since Mark Chmura and babysitters.
PR: Well, Philadelphia is clearly
bringing all their managerial candidates to one location to save on
airfare later. Of course – I could also see the Phillies telling Davey
Lopes that he had to take the bus.
BB: I can only imagine who he would
give his free friend fare to…
PR: God… umm… Larry Bowa? Bill
Buckner? Kevin Bass? Alejandro Pena?Dwayne Murphy? Dickie Thon? Steve
Garvey? Burt Hooten? Rick Monday? Gorman Heimueller? Chico Walker? Ray
Fontenot? Claude Osteen ? Jody Davis? Terry Forster? Dave Kingman? Jim
Deshaies? Steve Howe?... oh wait…
ED: TBS gets a 7 year deal
with MLB to broadcast the league championship series’. Mmmm, a
whole lot of Caray’s.
PR: Does this mean 2 weeks of no
Friends reruns??? OH NO!!! WHAT IS ONE TO DO?!?!?!?
BB: Well - considering the three
archetypes of all new TV shows are CSI, 24, and Friends, I am sure
watching one of the 34 TV shows being advertised on FOX during the wild
card round should take up their time. THE GUY FROM BUFFY!!! MAYBE THE
GIRL WHO WAS THE REFEREE FROM LEGENDS OF THE HIDDEN TEMPLE!!!! THEY ARE
AN ILL-CONCEIVED TEAM WHO WILL SOLVE CRIMES WHILE THEY ARE NOT BUSY
HUMPING!!!!! WATCH IT RUBES!
JS: I’m still trying to figure out
the show with Sally Field as Ally McBeal’s mom. You know—why it exists,
and what it means for the future of the American civilization.
ED: A poll reveals that few
people like Barry Bonds and baseball, in general. But of course,
EVERYONE LOVES JOE BUCK!!!
BB: I am willing to bet no one in
their life has ever walked up to Joe Buck and tried to impersonate him.
Of course, if I did standup, my first bit would be impersonating Joe
Buck at climax. His, not mine.
ED: Former Orioles P Sammy
Stewart pleads guilty to all sorts of drugs and other charges and gets
6 years in the hole. One less FPotM.
PR: Stewart did 8 years in
Baltimore. Six more years in the hole shouldn’t trouble him.
BB: MINI-PEDRO DIES. The great thing
was I billed him as 3'8" when the AP has him at 2'9". Maybe he was
shrunk to fit in carry-on luggage. Someone was a little upset about
this.
Bill: of course now that i am
coherent i am not sure which is funnier - mini-pedro dying or jermaine
defoe biting javier mascherino Phil: WHAT???? MINI-PEDRO
DIED?!?!?!?!
MM: ARIZONA FALL LEAGUE -- Luke Hochevar's ERA near the number
of innings in a game. Brewer 3B Ryan Braun bashing
.306/.381/.722 with 15 RBI. NOT-A-ROD Eric Duncan "hitting"
.298/.320/.383. Braves(?) C Jarrod Salty playing
like he is more blocked than a Shiite cleric at the shotgun counter in
a Montgomery Wal-Mart. Former Sun Devil CWS helper Travis
Buck not so much of the slugging, but is probably the go-to guy for
Arizona State co-eds.
NFL ED: Former Eagle Ernie Steele
dead at either 88 or 89 depending on who you believe.
PR: Clearly not the people who
announced that Corporal Kirchner was dead.
ED: FIRINGS!!! The Cards
can/demote O-Coordinator Keith Rowen (who then files a grievance about
said canning/demotion) and the Ravens can O-Coordinator Jim
Fassel. Phil and Marc (and maybe Bill) may need a moment here.
PR: Marc would be stoked if Jim
Fassel did anything for the Cardinals. Especially if he harpooned
Dennis Green.
MM: Fassel got Larry Centers into
the Pro Bowl. And him coaxing Kent Graham and Boomer Esiason to throw
for 400 yards in different games during '96 is depressingly one of the
greatest moments in Cardinals offensive history.
BB: I would also need a moment if
Jim Fassel hadn't spent three years dicking around thinking Tiki Barber
was Kevin Faulk. On the bright side, it gave him something to talk
about during his Escalade commercial.
Bill (8:26:54 AM): oh - have you
been able to figure out who tiki barber is talking about in his
escalade commercial yet? Phil: (8:29:30 AM): hold on a second Phil: (8:32:11 AM): THANK YOU!!!
Every time I watch the commerical I go Phil: (8:32:21 AM): "Wait a second -
Rodney Hampton crippled himself?" Bill (8:32:25 AM): no Bill (8:32:28 AM): the way i see it Bill (8:32:32 AM): it has to be joe
montgomery Bill (8:32:38 AM): since he had more
carries than tiki in '99 Bill (8:32:53 AM): and i don't
remember him specifically getting crippled but he is from penn state so
i am sure he was crippled at some point
PR: Bill was too lazy to go back and
include the part where I did say that I doubted in 2000 (the first year
of Thunder and Lightning) that the Giants were going “DAMMIT!!!! Joe
Montgomery got crippled. Boy, it’s a good thing we drafted that Heisman
winner and we have that kid from Virginia.” So basically – Tiki will
lie for the money.
ED: Speaking of Phil needing a
moment – Giants RB Tiki Barber confirms reports that he is retiring
after the season.
PR: Yeah – if I wasn’t depressed
already. Sweet sweet booze.
BB: Or that.
ED: A reported “dirty bomb”
threat that had several NFL stadiums on alert this weekend ends up
being an internet hoax concocted by a 20 year old Wisconsin grocery
store clerk. Odds are good his punishment will be 5 more years of
having to watch Brett Favre throw dirty bombs.
BB: This is why I don't write in the
WTW anymore. There is no point.
ED: SUSPENSIONS!!!
Falcons G Matt Lehr and Lions DT Shaun Rogers are suspended four games
for violating the league's substance abuse policy. Packers WR
Koren Robinson is suspended a year for getting busted again for DUI.
BB: Shawne Merriman injected himself
too and got caught. Eric Allen's indignation on ESPN was the best part
of the story. The Rookie of the Year award and Pro Bowl honors we all
thought Merriman earned last season have now been sullied completely by
his imminent suspension. YOU SULLIED THE PRO BOWL!!! COMPLETELY!
ED: TRADE DEADLINE
DEALZ!!! WOW!!! THE SUSPENSE!!! Yeah.
Well…yeah….The Colts pick up DT Anthony McFarland from the Bucs for a
2007 2nd round pick.
BB: That is at least something. You
would think it'd be easier to find a fat guy who falls down.
ED: INJURIES!!! Redskins
CB Carlos Rogers (out at least a week with a broken thumb), Bears S
Mike Brown (done for the season with a bum foot), Chargers DE Igor
Olshansky (out at least 3 weeks with a bum knee), Colts WR Brandon
Stokley (knee) and S Bob Sanders (knee) out this week, Jags WR? Matt
Jones (out at least this week with a bad hammy)
PR: Maybe if Rogers didn’t have his
thumb his ass while trying to cover he wouldn’t have broken it. BB:
WOW.
ED: PLAYA MOVEMENT!!! The Bucs sign
CB/KR Phillip Buchanon. The Dolphins activate WR? Li’l Mexico Marcus
Vick.
ED: TROUBLE LIST!!!!
BB: I thought Ed was responding to
his own Marcus Vick comment there and it was a moment of beautiful
comedy.
PR: Rodney Harrison claims he isn’t
the dirtiest player in the game. Promises to only headhunt in the
second half when the games matter.
ED: The Chiefs apparently were
blown out by the Steelers in Week 5 because they spent the entire night
before at a sex toy party. Herm Edwards plans on teaching the
players on how to manage the clock at sex toy parties better.
FINISHING OFF WEEK SIX
MM: I thought NOTHING could top the
last time the Arizona Cardinals were on "Monday Night Football" --
stomped by Switzer's Cowboys 37-13 on the Christmas night they shot
"Jerry Maguire" leaving Buddy Ryan to walk off the field before the end
of the actual game...
ED: The Bears come back and
rip Marc’s heart out as they stun the Cards, 24-23. Yeah.
We’ll just move aside and let Marc fill this out.
MM: The day after, I got an e-mail
from the guy I beat in Yahoo football using the Cards defense. Tears
dripped into the keyboard as I typingly explained Chicago scores from
offensive fumbles don't count as points allowed.
WEEK SEVEN!!!
ED: MARVIN LEWIS IS STILL A
DEFENSIVE GENIUS!!! Bengals 17, Panthers 14.
JS: Chad Johnson wants the ball—you
give him that ball. That’s the lesson.
ED: God, there is no way in
hell DirecTV tries to pimp the NFL package with this pile of
crap. Jets 31, Lions 24.
JS: Yeah. Millen, Martz, Kitna….what
a franchise.
ED: Ooooooo, pain killa QB
contra piano playa QB!!! Vince Lomardi and Don Shula’s corpse’s
let out a whimper. Packers 34, Dolphins 24.
JS: 3 interceptions? Versus the
last-ranked pass defense? Poor stupid Joey.
ED: Aww, Jack Del Rio’s
magnificent hair needs a little more lovin’. Texans 27, Jags 7.
JS: Because he’s a WAC QUARTERBACK!
That’s what you get for leaving the MAC, Marshall!
ED: Oh yeah. Peter
King’s getting some extra special foam in his espresso this week.
Pats 28, Bills 6.
PR: So so so very wrong.
ED: MAC QB’S ARE HOTTER THAN
LESBIAN ROOMMATES!!! Bucs 23, Eagles 21.
JS: The MAC guys were 2 and 2 this
week, right? Anyway—losing on a 62-yard field goal? The Eagles should
just quit now and spare Philadelphia further emotional trauma. The
football gods are clearly displeased with their hubris or something.
PR:
http://www.veteranpresence.com/PhillyTB.html
MM: Its not like the NFL bookers
were going to let ONE of the Barber Bros. snag all the headlines this
week.
ED: Michael Vick is less sucky
than Ben Roethlisberger! Falcons 41, Steelers 38 in OT.
JS: Gawd—I love it when the Steelers
don’t profit by their stupid gimmicky horsecrap (I can say “crap”,
right? Phil said “ass.”) This time it was Cowher calling a timeout at
the moment a game-winning field goal was snapped and getting away with
it. The Falcons then missed a rekick and then another kick before
riding Morten Andersen’s ancient coattails to victory in the OT.
PR: Hey – maybe, you know, people
will realize that maybe, just maybe, Charlie Batch wasn’t the problem
in Detroit.
MM: Charlie Batch, Eastern Michigan.
MAC 3 FOR 3! If you want to win in the league, you need to have a
signal-caller that played at 9:30pm on ESPNU Tuesday or Wednesday
nights.
ED: Ayup. It’s almost
mid-season. Marty chokes away a game he should have won.
Chiefs 30, Chargers 27.
PR: I swear the first time I read
that – it took me a few moments to remember which team was coached by
Marty.
JS: He’s like Andy Reid West. Or do
the Eagles play Easy Coast Martyball?
ED: Different century, same
results. Broncos 17, Browns 7.
ED: AWESOME!!!! Sweet lucky
throwback Ken Stabler jersey did the trick!!! RAIDERS!!!!!!!! 22,
Cards 9. Poor poor Marc. I’m a-guessing this hurts even
more than the Bears loss.
MM: The only thing that would hurt
more than the Bears game would be a Bob Woodward book proving Pat
Tillman had a hairy bear fetish. Losing to the Raiders just paves THE
ROAD TO JOE THOMAS, 2007 NUMBER ONE PICK.
ED: Poor little Hasselbeck
without the hot wife. Vikings 31, Seahawks 13.
PR: Ed – two words for you. Seneca
Wallace.
ED: Peyton Manning is tougher
than Jesus!!! Whee! Colts 36, Redskins 22.
JS: All those millions, Dan
Snyder—it doesn’t buy heart. The heart of a champion. The heart….of
Peyton Manning. Oh, wait….
CFL WEEK NINETEEN!!!
ED: In what sounds like the
dullest CFL game ever – not involving the Ti-Cats – Saskatchewan tops
Toronto, 13-9.
JS: You’re forgetting all the games
this season with the score of Opponents 47, Ti-Cats 4. Well—those games
had scoring at least.
PR: Edmonton 30, Montreal 20. Yup –
the Als are officially the Packers now.
JS: Anthony Calvillo DESERVES TO BE
ON THAT FIELD. On the hallowed ground of McGill University….
PR: Kevin Green tosses 3 TDs to beat
Winnipeg 28-13. Meanwhile, Charles Roberts clinched the CFL rushing
title for the second straight year. Which is really impressive when you
realize that he has done it with the Bombers strapped firmly to his
back.
PR: Aww… Hamilton actually scored 17
points this week. Of course, BC scored 23. At least this was the
Ti-Cats last game this year. Onto the Raiders Ed.
JS: Yeah, time to start fresh, Ed!
NCAA ED: I think it’s safe to say
that we all shed a tear for Lamar Thomas.
PR: Not me. He was all talk and no
action. A REAL HURRICANE WOULDN'T HAVE TALKED ABOUT TAKING THE
ELEVATOR!!! HE WOULD HAVE BEEN IN PRIME PHYSICAL SHAPE TO TAKE THE
STAIRS!!!! disgusting.
JS: And then Miami barely beat Duke
on Saturday! It would have been a perfect end to my week of righteous
Hurricane hatred. Duke is 0-7, by the way, and in serious competition
with Temple (now 0-8 after the Northern Illinois game) for the mythical
Worst Team in College Football title.
BB: Do you get an honorary TMQ
AutoText for that?
JS: I have no idea what that means
but if it means I’m turning into Easterbrook—well, then it’s time to
join the French Foreign Legion or something.
JS: Rutgers 7-0! Over Pittsburgh! I
almost hate the continued success because against all logic and
rationality I’m going to have hope when they play Louisville and West
Virginia.
PR: There is a reason I enjoy
watching Rutgers games. It just like why I like Navy games. The run the
ball about 500 times a game. Mmmm…. Ground attack.
JS: Boise State is 8-0 and (I think)
the last chance for a BCS gatecrasher this season—which is always my
favorite subplot of the college season. Stupid Waterford crystal
football…
MM: The day we see a Rutgers v.
Boise State Fiesta Bowl is upon us. Maybe.
SOCCER PR: SHEVCHENKO FINALLY SCORES!!!!...
against Portsmouth. The footie gods sure like to taunt me.
BB: He is immediately booked for
showing off the guns. Or being pasty. One or the other.
JS If pastiness was a bookable
offense there would be a lot more red cards in England, I’ll tell you
what.
PR: Hey! Cardiff is finally getting
taken over. And they are finally going to get that new stadium. I
wonder if the CM path for this will be the same as apparently the one
that suddenly said “Hey! Portsmouth has money now. Make them spend
almost 200 million Euros in transfers.” Or maybe that was just my game.
Thank you crazy Pompey AI. (And thank you new VP content. TEASE~!)
BB: If there is any way you are
getting me on this site people - it is Championship Manager talk.
JS: CHAMPIONS LEAGUE GROUP PLAY!
Lessee here…..Chelsea over Barcelona. Inter finally won. PSV over
Galatasaray—poor little winless Turkish underdogs. Lyon over Dynamo
Kiev and Real Madrid over Steaua Bucharest. Celtic over Benfica and in
good shape to make it out of Group F. CSKA Moscow over Arsenal!
Finally—a semi-upset! And there was a handball and Arsene Wenger wants
instant replays now. Just call the waaambulance, Arsene! But yeah—aside
from that this was very much that one boring round of the NCAAs where
Milwaukee, Bradley and Pacific lose to Wisconsin, Michigan State and
Syracuse (to really stretch a metaphor.)
JS: EPL! Manchester United still on
top. Chelsea still on top. Club of my heart Wigan beat Man City 4-0.
Club of my heart Reading lost to Arsenal 4-0. Charlton: in the cellar.
That’s just what happens when you pay Ditko in excess copies of
Judomaster (danger VP audience! Comics reference!)
BB: We were already in enough danger
of turning into your blog by not really ever updating anymore. This is
just going to make things worse now.
JS: SPL! Celtic is up by 8 points
now. Stupid Hearts does not help itself by losing to Kilmarnock.
BB: Hearts are reportedly going to
give their manager a month's sabbatical. That is not going to end well.
JS: The beloved BUNDESLIGA!!!!
Bremen over Bayern Munich and my irrational Oliver Kahn hatred is given
form and substance. ENERGIE COTTBUS! over league-leaders-for-a-minute
Aachen. Kasey Keller could not hold off Hertha Berlin.
BB: You know what Kasey Keller can
hold off? Hair growing. Real good at that.
JS: LIGUE 1! That Marseilles-Lyon
showdown? A 4-1 dismantling by Lyon. Poor little Ribery.
JS: MLS SEMIFINALS! RBNY 0, DC
United 1. Fire over Revs 1-0. Dallas 2, Rapids 1 and Chivas 2, Dynamo
1. I presume the presence of Chivas and TAFKA Metros in the playoffs
means MLS has a CFL-like standard for letting teams into the postseason.
PR: Well after 10 years MLS still
hasn’t quite got the hang of gimmick everything so their biggest stars
make it into the playoffs. Poor poor Landon.
JS: The “Thank you, Setanta” game of
the week: Jeonbuk over Ulsan to go to the Asian Champions League
finals. 6-4 on aggregate! After losing 3-2 in the first leg! Random
soccer on my tv!
BB: Stupid not getting Setanta.
Stupid stolen TV.
NBA ED: Ron Artest releases his
phat joint, yo. And if you don’t buy it he will rush into the
crowd and beat you senseless. Yeah. That’s all I
have. I told Phil I need a joke for this but really, isn’t the
fact that he is releasing an album a joke unto itself?
JS: But I expect it to be more
aesthetically coherent than “Shaq Fu.”
PR: Is Artest going to be selling
himself his CD at Circuit City?
ED: Oh and speaking of rap and
hoops - Sebastian Telfair denies having any involvement in the shooting
of rapper Fabolous. Of course not, if Telfair was involved his
shot would have bricked right off of Fabulous.
PR: I WAS ON THE COVER OF
SI!!!! I HAD MY OWN DOCUMENTARY!!!! STEP OFF BITCH!!!!
BB: See - what am I going to add to
that? I already know Foz will approve.
JS: I wonder if Michelle Wie’s going
to start shooting people during the inevitable overhyped youngster
meltdown.
ED: The Golden State Warriors
sell the naming rights of their arena to Oracle. AWESOME!!!
Now I eagerly await the Sacramento Kings arena being sponsored by
Linux. ARENAS NAMED FOR TECH GEEKS IS THE NEW HOTNESS!!
RIGHT? What exactly is it with tech geeks and the NBA, btw?
PR: The Knicks... being the
Knicks... have inquired how much it would take to get Enron's name put
on MSG.
BB: Oh come on - Computer Associates
are right there. Of course, they are too busy being worked by Garth
Snow. OF COURSE WE WILL GIVE OUR GOALIE A 15 YEAR DEAL! The great thing
was the ESPN guy who clearly hates Rick DiPietro and was insisting he
be benched to give the Islanders a chance for the rest of the season
four games into his 15 year deal. Wait - that was way too much hockey
content.
PR: The drunk driver who struck and
killed Malik Sealy was charged with a DWI again. If convicted, he would
be facing another 4 year sentence. Clearly, he doesn't have Leonard
Little's attorney's phone number.
BB: On the bright side if he was
paying attention and had a sunroof a copy of the Pacers playbook may
have flown into his car.
PR: Oh – speaking of drunks.
Sacramento Kings brand new head coach Eric Musselman was arrested for
drunk driving Saturday. I enjoy that the AP story basically tries to
explain it away with “He was fired by Golden State. GOLDEN STATE! and
got divorced. Cut him some slack people.”
JS: The Celtics cut Kevin Pittsnogle
and may cut Allan Ray yet. I have less reason to love a team that
doesn’t have those two plus Delonte West on it.
JS: The Greg Anthony-Isiah Thomas
feud….it’s an annoying, terrible NBA coach versus a mediocre yet
inoffensive NBA analyst. Because Anthony shouldn’t ever say anything
mean about the Knicks ever because he used to play for them.
Yeah—welcome to the basketball circle of Phil Rippa’s Inferno.
MM: I'm rooting for Minnesota in
GREGODONLOTTERYMANIA '07. [What other people are calling the 2006/2007
NBA season.] Tank games, Wolves. Come in dead last. Fire McHale. Hire
Hakeem Olajuwon to coach KG and Odon as 2K7 Twin Towers. Make this
happen.
NHL ED: A Russian hockey club
files suit against the NHL and the Pittsburgh Penguins to stop Evgeni
Malkin from playing since he supposedly under contract with said
Russian hockey club. Right. The only Russian contracts that
are honored in America are the ones on Anna K’s tennis career.
BB: I am amazed that Russia wasn't
busy enough importing Brazilian players and selling them at a huge loss
to worry about this. Or killing journalists. Like me pretty soon. I AM
CHALLENGING THE POLITBORO!
PR: The Philadelphia Flyers are in
shambles. Poor poor terrible team. At first, I was just going to mock
them for being bad (worst start in 15 years) and waiving Nolan
Baumgartner (the one FA they signed in the offseason), Niko Dimitrakos
and Petr Nedved (hehehehehe). But then they went and canned Ken
Hitchcock as coach and GM Bobby Clarke resigned. Thank you Flyers for
being far far worse than the Rangers.
BB: I am still amazed Nolan
Baumgartner is a huge FA pickup. The guy who couldn't make the
Capitals? Really?
JS: Clarke really needed to go—his
positively Unseldian reign as GM (local legend and former player, so
everyone forgave his mediocrity) had gone on at least five years too
long.
OTHER ED: Jimmie Johnson wins the
Subway 500. Christ, hasn’t the world had enough of Fox synergy by
now?
JS: Yeah—I can’t think of a single
thing to add down here. I’m not at the point of tracking down LPGA
scores every week. Not yet.