The Week That Was 5/26/07 - 6/3/07    

ED: What’s a blog, indeed.

NBA

ED:  PLAYOFFS!!!! Hey, Dr. Kavorkian is out of jail. Trust us, Doc. No one would put you back behind bars if you did the deed to this league.

ED: Coaching/GM Moves!!! The magic hire Billy Donovan as their new head coach. The Suns hire Steve Kerr as their new GM. The Grizzlies hire Marc Iavaroni as their new head coach. The Pacers hire Jim O’Brien as their new head coach.

ED: Oh yeah, and Kobe Bryant wants the Lakers to trade him, reportedly. Seriously, can someone kill the league off already?

NHL

ED: The Stanley Cup Finals are going on. And now is the time for us to invade Canadia. Oops. HAH HAH. Just kidding, loyal Canadian reader. We love you. Quick, Bill – claim Manitoba so we can rename it VeteranPresenceville.

AFL

WEEK FOURTEEN!!!

MLB

ED:  DL LIST!!! Mets OF Shawn Green (broken foot), Cardinals C Yadier Molina (broken wrist), Yankees MONEYPIT!!! Jason Giambi (foot), Brewers 2B Rickie Weeks (wrist), Cubs C Henry Blanco (neck), Braves 3B? Chipper Jones (hand)

ED:  PLAYA MOVEMENT!!!  Mets P Guillermo Mota is reinstated from his juicing suspension. The Padres claim OF Hiram Bocachica off of waivers from the A’s. The Giants trade PVC!!! Armando Benitez to the Marlins for P Randy Messenger.

ED: Orioles P Jamie Walker names his new-born son…James Leyland. Aww, so cute. And you know Jim Leyland would name his next kid Marlboro instead of returning the favor.

ED: OMG!!! Yankees MONEYPIT!!! Alex Rodriguez is spotted out on the town in Toronto with another woman! OMG!!! Feel free to insert your own A-Rod chokes in the clutch joke here.

ED: Chicago Cubs P Carlos Zambrano and C Michael Barrett get into a shoving match in the dugout during a Cubs loss to the Braves. Aww, looking like they care. So very-very-very cute.

SOCCER

NFL

ED:  PLAYA MOVEMENT!!! The Cards sign TE Tim Euhus. The Redskins sign WR Jason McAddley.

ED: A report reveals that 35 former NFL players now qualify for dementia-Alzheimer's assistance from the league and its player’s union due to brain-related injuries the players suffered while NFL players. Meh. Like anyone can tell if a football player has brain damage.

ED: Oh wait – signs of brain damage perhaps…Steelers O line coach Larry Zierlein apologizes for forwarding porn to like the entire league. If there is a god, this man and naked drunken Lions assistant coach will some day end up on the same team with Pacman Jones and Tank Johnson and they will get a reality show. This must happen.

ED: AirTran Airways cancels the endorsement contract it had with Falcons QB Ron Mexico. See, how can AirTran and Michael Vick not continue on? Is there a more perfect combination of suck in this world than this pairing?

ED: TROUBLE LIST!!! Bengals LB Odell Thurman gets 6 days in a treatment facility to settle his DUI conviction.

NCAA 

OTHER   

ED: Maverick frickin’ nerdy owner Mark Cuban is part of a group that is starting up a rival football league. OK, first he owns the Mavs, then talks about buying the Cubs and the Pirates and now this? Yeah. I mean, seriously. If he wants to piss away his scratch, he could just invest in the VP.com IPO.

ED: The uh, French Open is underway. Yeah. Really. Honest. No foolin.