2002
WORLD CUP CHAT HIGHLIGHTS - VOL. ONE
Phil and Bill fill
their normal roles. Everyone else is everyone else
<Stumpy> PHIL!
<Rippa> it is way to fucking
early
<Rippa> and having to see
the Verizon commerical in Spanish was not a good way to start
<Bill> ha!
<Rippa> My the Cameroon
jersey's sure are tight
<Bill> well they wanted the
sleeveless jersey - but FIFA wouldn't let them
<Bill> They've been saving
the approved prototype for this match - apparently it's "we'll just put
the jerseys on real tight"
<Rippa> there is a lot of
nippledge going on
<Bill> you know - I am
hoping that when Cameroon scores - they show a shot of Roy Keane
sitting at home in Dublin laughing
<Rippa> I love the Spanish
commentary
<Bill> I am rapidly
recalling all the high school Spanish I forgot
<Bill> wow, we can actually
hear the fans this time
<Rippa> I read that Steve
Sampson is working a Spanish broadcast somewhere
<Rippa> I just dont remember
where
<Bill> By working a Spanish
broadcast I hope you mean doing running commentary in a 7-11
<Rippa> Unfortunately – no
<Bill> What is Jeff Agoos
doing in an Irish jersey?
<Rippa> I lose love things
like "Uruguay may leave South Korea with more red cards than points"
<Rippa> I lose love????
<Rippa> What the fuck did I
just type?
<Rippa> I want an apostrophe
in my name
<Bill> Ri'ppa?
<Bill> OH MAN
<Bill> That is something
<Bill> Not as good as the
Senegalese coach - but a VERY strong #2
<Stumpy> Ph'il R'ipp'a
<Stumpy> ROTFL
<Rippa> Told you the hair
was good
<Stumpy> Fuh Ill Ruh Ip Uh.
<Bill> I wonder if there is
a Univision Jack Edwards equivalent
<Bill> Not in the homerism
because I know there is but like an explaining to the rubes
<Bill> "You see - Robbie
Keane does play for a team BESIDES his national team!"
<Rippa> counter you slow
pasty fucks
<Rippa> Brandy on Conan
O'Brien. I will keep on rolling
* Bill would lose it if the
Japanese riot police were all big New Japan trainees in black tights
<Bill> all doing exploders
and neck cranks on the Irish fans
<Rippa> HA! Some kid on
Jenny Jones just keep going "SHUT UP BITCH!"
<Stumpy> GAH! Fat mexican
dancing!
<Bill> welcome to 3 AM TV
<Rippa> UGLY BITCH!
<Rippa> SHUT UP BEFORE I
JUMP ON YOU BITCH!
<Rippa> Hey - the US
National Team, The Life
<Rippa> I have to watch Jeff
Agoos and Tony Meola play cards
<Bill> Rippa - that is great
if only for the Pablo Mastroeni song about Landon Donovan
<Bill> "You're a
superstar...we can't wait for the pictures from your prom"
<Bill> things like that
<Rippa> You know - Agoos
looks too much like Nova. I think that is part of the reason I hate him.
<Bill> Agoos is the oldest
Nova ever
<Bill> I only hate Agoos
because he's slow. If he looked like Nova but ran fast I would be A-OK
with him (and maybe with Nova)
<Bill> The great thing is
Tony talking about passing the torch to the younger guys
<Bill> It's like
"er...Tony...you passed the torch 8 years ago..."
<Bill> EMANSKI!
<Rippa> God - soccer
commericals are the greatest in the world though
<Bill> Not as great as the
PALMEIRO VIAGRA commercial
<Bill> "I don't need
it...but if you do..."
<Rippa> Palmeiro tells me I
am inadequate
<Rippa> I was just about to
type "When did Tony Sanneh get dual-citizenship?" before they scored
that
<Bill> I already made the
Agoos in an Irish kit joke
<Rippa> I know - I sorta
stole it
<Rippa> run pasty white boy
<Bill> but I don't want to!
<Stumpy> O_o
<Bill> O_O
<Rippa> STEVE LYONS~!
<Stumpy> Did he just have
his pants around his ankles?
<Bill> microphone down!
<Rippa> whoops
<Rippa> yeah - your saliva
will help your grip
<Bill> that was almost as
good as Thuram shoving the cornerman away to take a throwin yesterday
* Stumpy has been up since..10
this morning..
<DevilSaint> as have I
<Rippa> 10 this morning
hasn't happened yet Stumpy?
<Bill> yeah, really Stumpy
<Stumpy> 10 am yesterday..
* Bill 's friend made a tidy sum
off betting Joey Buttafucco with my other friend in Celebrity Boxing
<Rippa> assuming this is the
same friend you bet on the Chyna/Buttafucco fight with
<Bill> no - I have more than
one friend
<Rippa> Stumpy gives up on
Jeromy Burnitz
<Stumpy> I gave up on him a
lonnnnnnng time ago.
<Stumpy> Gibbons has died
down from his early season hot streak..as has Encarnacion..
<Stumpy> ..so I picked up
Todd Hollandsworth. :)
<SirFozzie> You can't win
can ya Stump:)
<Stumpy> nope.
<SirFozzie> I mean, actually
admitting you have Todd Hollandsworth on your team...
<Rippa> And you are nuts
Linus - Schafer's hair is spectacular
<xLINUSx> if he was French
and in the 1960s it would be acceptable - however, he is German and
thus disqualified from COOL
<Bill> Argentina/Nigeria is
at 1:30???
<Stumpy> O_O
<Rippa> according to the
Post, it is
<xLINUSx> yeah, 6:30am GMT
<Bill> 1:15!!
<Bill> fuck ME
* Stumpy smacks himself in the
head.
<Rippa> Yeah - so basically
I am going to have to go to bed at like 6 pm tonight
<xLINUSx> bet the wife will
be happy
<Bill> fuck, I was all set
to sleep till 5 too
<Rippa> Yeah - I was able to
do this morning because I used Ireland as the excuse
<Rippa> I think I will have
to bust out the wild sex to distract her for tonight
<Rippa> :-P
<SirFozzie> Rippa: SO who
will she be having the wild sex with? :)
* Stumpy vomits uncontrollably..
<SirFozzie> (Grin, Duck and
HIDE behind Linus)
<xLINUSx> eww
<Rippa> whoever gets the job
done
<SirFozzie> On that note.. I
go watch/sleep now :)
*** Quits: SirFozzie
(SirFozz@h002078d57094.ne.client2.attbi.com ) (Quit: )
<Rippa> always a feat when
you can creep Fozz out
<Rippa> return the favor for
once
* Bill will not save that "return
the favor for once" line for posterity :)
<DevilSaint> I've been busy
making a CD mix for his girl since he got home and now will prolly chat
a tad more
<Bill> you're making a CD
mix for Rippa's wife?
<Rippa> whose girl?
<Stumpy> ...and we're OFF!
<Rippa> Yeah - I am
wondering the same thing
<DevilSaint> mine, not his
* Bill slaps DevilSaint around a
bit with a large trout
<Bill> stop speaking in the
second person
* DevilSaint thought he /me'd that
comment
<Rippa> you didn't
* Rippa regrets not being able to
use the umlot in the chat
<Bill> you'd think IRC would
be world-friendly
<Bill> Denmark apparently
got the $19.99 per jersey Eurosport team special
<Bill> those are some
generic, generic kits
<Rippa> yeah - they look
like every club jersey that I used to have to wear 15 years ago
<Bill> too bad Jack isn't
doing this match
<Bill> "You know who beat
Uruguay??? THE UNITED STATES DID"
<Rippa> I guess they are
only going to talk about the Inter-Milan guys
<Bill> There's like 3 or 4
of them
<Rippa> 2 have been
mentioned so far
<Rippa> I love "cultured
left foot"
<Bill> there are a whole
bunch of words that you only see in European soccer reports
<Bill> talisman
<Bill> cultured ___ foot
<Bill> mercurial
<Rippa> I so heart mercurial
- but it is true that you can never work it into regular speech
<Bill> you can if you try
hard enough
* Bill has worked discombobulated
into his regular vocabulary
<Bill> gah - reading that
light blue on gray describing the Uruguayan team color was like trying
to read a DVDVR
<Bill> jesus - Toften looks
like he swallowed Earnie Stewart
<Rippa> I was just thinking
"my what a stocky fellow"
<Rippa> that the great "if I
keep staying down, will I draw a card?"
<Bill> OK, that is pretty
goofy as hair goes
<Stumpy> Are they spraying
pam on his...area?
<Bill> I'm sure they don't
want it to stick to the pan...
<Rippa> Yes it is Pam - they
plan on making an omlet
<Bill> an umlot?
<Rippa> No - an omlet - or
however the fuck you spell it
<Rippa> that was a whole
lotta nothing
<Stumpy> omlette?
<Bill> omelet
<Stumpy> I wonder if Gustavo
goes by Gus?
<Rippa> Gustavo Mendez -
wasn't he a jobber back in the old UWF
<Bill> we are all the worst
Bill Simmons ever :)
<Rippa> actually - I am the
worst Tony Kornheiser ever
<Bill> ugh
<Bill> Recoba being chased
by the entire Danish team
<Stumpy> Mmmmm..Danish...
<Bill> those Danish jerseys
suck
<Stumpy> ..did that sound
gay?
<Bill> Even the keeper's
jersey is bland
<Bill> Would you like it to?
<Stumpy> No..
<Bill> I'm sure I could find
a cheesecake pic of a Danish guy
<Stumpy> No..no, that's okay.
<Bill> I wonder if Japanese
people get English characters tattooed on them
<Rippa> Is that a soul patch
on his head?
<Bill> I thought it was Ray
Duffy
<Rippa> awww.... Ray's going
bald
<Bill> yes, yes he is
<Bill> I'd also like to
clarify - I thought Mendez looked like Ray Duffy - I didn't think Ray
Duffy was on Mendez's head
<Rippa> It would explain why
he keeps getting torched
<Bill> hmm...I bet Ray Duffy
is faster than Jeff Agoos
<Rippa> I think Dean is
faster than Jeff Agoos
<Rippa> of course - I
couldnt think of any other portly posters
<Bill> we have loads of fat
people on the board
<Rippa> I dont think the
words Dario Silva and unselfish go together
<Bill> he doesn't look very
unselfish
<Bill> well if CSC's mixtape
works out...
<Rippa> he will get some
play from my wife????
<Stumpy> SOMEONE SCORED!
<Rippa> not you
<Bill> check your women!
<Rippa> Uruguay is so being
coach by Skandar Akbar - or at least a doppleganger
<Bill> I am scared of the
idea of Nise Skandar Akbar
<Bill> oh come on - everyone
knows Cobi Jones doesn't score and Tony Meola dosn't make saves
<Rippa> your were just happy
about the Tim Howard sighting
<Bill> what, do the
announcers get paid every time they say "Dario Silva" and "unselfish"
in the same sentence?
<Rippa> Its Modern Day
Warrioresqe
<Bill> It's like Ross,
Lesnar, and hoss
<Bill> HA!
*** Quits: Danny_Bhoy
(D@d-142-173.dhcp-149-159.indiana.edu ) (Quit: Leaving )
<Rippa> nutmeg
<Bill> five-hole!
<Bill> as Dario Silva
unselfishly stops breathing to let everyone else get more oxygen
<Bill> Sebastian Mendez =
Edward James Olmos?
<Rippa> he posted on the
board regarding your Keane comment "uh.... Keane doesnt live in Dublin"
<Bill> That's why all of
Ireland gets akicked
<Bill> um...
<Bill> that was a nice
forearm
<Rippa> that was odd
<Rippa> HA!!!!
<Rippa> "Maybe I can't
defend that well"
<Bill> Tommy Smyth just says
"Fuck it I'm gonna shoot" and goes after Mendez
<Rippa> the best thing that
could happen to Uruguay would be Mendez getting a 2nd yellow
<Bill> The best thing that
could happen would be them taking the fork out of Mendez's back
<Rippa> I think the "how big
is your dick" thread was weirder
<Bill> everytime I see that
inside-the-net shot during a corner...I think back to WC98 and Mike
Burns letting in the goal off a corner inbetween him and the post when
he was supposed to be...guarding the post
<Rippa> oh - that was so ugly
<Bill> Mike Burns may be the
only defender I hate more than Jeff Agoos
<Rippa> Whatever happened to
Burns?
<Bill> he sucks
<Bill> he plays for Kansas
City now
<Rippa> ah - no wonder I
dont care
<Bill> UNSELFISH DARIO SILVA!
<Bill> gives up his body for
the team
<Bill> TWO HANDED SHOVE -
yeah
<Rippa> that was a collision
<Bill> ha!
<Rippa> IM UNSELFISH!
<Bill> I think Mendez just
saw his life flash before his eyes
<Rippa> and he was full of
shame
<Bill> "I remember when I
was 12 and I saw my hairline beginning to recede"
<Bill> my mother calling at
7:30 "Are you watching the soccer?" "Yes" "How many games are on after
this?" "None" "You woke up at 7:30 to watch one match?" "I've been up
since 2:30, mom..." "...oh"
<Bill> I think the Saudi
coach is going to be sacked at halftime
<Rippa> you know - I could
just stand around a watch a guy dribble too
<Bill> you are faster than
Jeff Agoos
<Bill> and {Rippa} IM
UNSELFISH!
<Rippa> Im a lot prettier
than Agoos too
<MisterSenorLoveDaddy>
probably faster than Regis too
<MisterSenorLoveDaddy> Go
Poland!
<Bill> better worker than
Agoos...
<Rippa> I am most certainly
faster than Cobi Jones now
<Bill> jesus, Seamus Malin
is fired up
<Rippa> I thought this was
Tommy
<Rippa> since Seamus did the
last game
<Bill> I don't know anymore
<Rippa> well Seamus
certainly did that last game - that much I know
<Bill> Well - they're all in
Connecticut - so it's not as if they can't do two in a row
<Rippa> so early in the
morning
<Bill> so little sleep
<Bill> I am going to be
jet-lagged without ever leaving my room
<Rippa> Cobi Jones on that
list is so sad
<Bill> what list?
<Bill> the most capped?
<Rippa> most international
caps
<Bill> yes...yes it is
<Rippa> someone is so
getting fired
<Bill> i'm honestly
surprised he's still out there
<Rippa> Tommy dissing
today's sponser
<Rippa> Rudy has an English
class to teach in an hour
<Bill> Tommy's legit
<Bill> Rudy needs to tweak
his moustache
<Bill> what the fuck is a
hoosh?
<Rippa> heheheheh - Its all
breaking down now
<Bill> Who let Tommy get
drunk at halftime?
<Rippa> I am stunned I
havent had a drink yet this morning
<Bill> I should've
<Rippa> "Jim Brown will help
me keep my job - right???"
<Bill> HA! Discussing MLS
<Rippa> poor it on
<Rippa> more goals Saudi
Arabia gives up, less chance the US will finish dead last
<Bill> If we finish
last......ugh
<Bill> although I am very
impressed by poor it on
<Rippa> I am starting to
throw in the towel